Bring Out Your Dead

[nailit]

Inspired in part by Mikeys post below (although something ive long thought),
does anyone else here find it a bit morbid how we see the need to trail our dead loved ones through the streets in a hearse to their graves (or crem)? the last funeral I attended was a few weeks ago but the last funeral that I was in a cortege in was my fathers, 17 yrs ago. I remember at the time been in the car following the hearse and thinking that it was all a bit morbid, parading through the streets with a dead body.
Maybe its just me but it reminds me of my thread title!

[Peter Pedant]

/I think nailit's reference to an earlier time when death was far more part of daily life than it is now, is the crux of the debate//

death was common - and not taboo - it clearly is nowadays
( sex was pretty common but also taboo so I dont think that commonalty or frequency was he determinant

where is our resident anthropologist ?

whereas now it is less common and clearly taboo

Kids went to Victorian funerals - usually in half-crepe because of the cost.

But death has always been a public event and attended with ritual.
that is the bit I dont understand about people saying how private a death is for the family...
no it isnt - there's the will and all the quarrelling that goes with that and probate ! - coroners and death certificates and all that fol-de-rol

more so now than ever

[wolf63]

I've never seen a funeral procession.

[Cloverjo]

Like wolf63, I've never seen a funeral procession. I see hearses carrying coffins. I think most people now go to the cemetery or crematorium and wait for the hearse to arrive. That's what happened in the last few I've been to, including my mum's.

[Tilly2]

Neither have I, Wolf. I have seen a hearse followed by mourners' cars. That is all.

[Cloverjo]

Or church if applicable. ^^

[Tilly2]

I have been to a funeral of an old friend today. We went to the crematorium and his body arrived in a hearse followed by cars containing his family. No procession through the streets of Bedford.

[Cloverjo]

I think it depends on how much money the family wants to spend on the funeral. I went to one 20 years ago where the whole family were in lots of undertaker's cars.
For my mum's we all went in our own cars as my dad didn't want to spend silly money.

Whatever people do, I don't call it 'parading the body'.

[murraymints]

we paid for cars but everyone wanted to walk,,it was a mark of respect and many folks later remarked how wonderful the day had been... even those I did not know stopped me in the streets to say how pleased they were to be able to pay their respects even though they did not attend "per se "

[DTCwordfan]

even though I didn't go, I can remember my great-grandmother lying in state in the front room and leaving the house via the front door....when living in rural Holland, we were told that the only way that the front door was used was to exit the house in a box - otherwise, use the back door......

[Peter Pedant]

whilst we are at it
let us spare a though for saffie roussos - last and youngest bomb victim buried in Manchester ....

Parents said anyone welcome if they had been affected by the events

[DTCwordfan]

sorry, nailit, a lighter moment is needed here, me thinks.....remember this from Monty P?

[murraymints]

PP so so sad. I have already lit a candle for the sol xx

[murraymints]

wee soul ^^

[DTCwordfan]

agree on that - there have been a couple of comments already as to her...most sad.

[wolf63]

People all deal with death differently.

My mum died in January 1996 - I have never been to visit the grave even though it is not far away.

My dad died August 2004 and was cremated. The next year we took him out in the car and left his ashes in Loch Earn. We went via McDonalds and I was car sick. I have never been back to the Loch but my brother visited earlier this year.

I am not having a funeral service and have stated so in my will.

I know that it may just be me that is 'odd' but that would be nothing new.

[Cloverjo]

Not odd, wolf. My lovely grandparents' ashes were scattered at the crematorium. I have never been to pay respect to them even though I've been since for another funeral. As minty said earlier, they are in my heart and mind.

[murraymints]

wolf I will scatter cat litter whether you want it or not ! xx

[Jackdaw33]

If you think our custom is 'parading' you should see what they get up to in Louisiana.

[jourdain2]

No, I don't. It is a tribute and a ceremonial paid to the deceased. 'In the midst of life, we are in death' etc.... A sober reminder and tribute, as I said.