missing my son!!

[Snooka]

I am a father that lives abroad from my son. I would like contact with him but his mother is hiding and wont give me the info i need to contact my son!! what can i do ?

[rosie posie]

hello snooka..soryy to hear your apart from your son ,as a mother myself i know what it feels like to love a child...well before i can answer you would it be too intrusive to ask under what circumstances led to his mother not allowing you contact...be honest though even if you were at fault(im not saying you were like) for example did you split up on bad terms ,if i knew more then the better the advice would be.

[Snooka]

we split on verry bad terms!! but wile i was in the USA she let me see my son and things were not so bad between.. I had some trouble with paying my suport for awile but then i got it together and she still is not giveing info about were or how to contact him??? please help.

[rosie posie]

hi..well first i have to say that i myself didnt let my daughters dad see her for a little while..i know iknow it was very wrong of me,and if im being totally honest it was pure selfish reasons,as i was hurting and the only weapon i had to hit his heart was the one person he loved the most..our daughter,she was 3 .i was so irrational at the time..thats why i sort of wanted to know under what circumstances you two had split...im still not sure as to the best advice to giv ,because i dont know the whole story,but i can say that what you should do is keep perservering ,stay calm even if shes being a nightmare,act very responsible and tell her that you love your son and would never let any harm come to him..im guessing that she doesnt want you to take him for long periods of time away to a different country,so the more mature and decent and sensilble you act ,the more you could get mum on your side. are there any grandparents that can be mediators,would it be worth talking to them?dont lose your temper when speaking to her(although you hav every right to be angry)..if she sees that you love your son and are good and sensible then she may start to come round?..you could also just check out your rights with your lawyer in case shes not gonna budge.check out legally where you stand...hes your son and there has to be a solution..reasure her that when you have him that you will let him call her and try try try to be the bigger man and stay calm..does your son live in america now? tell her you will happily pay for things that your son needs ,...why wont she let you see him? has she given you a reason?if i knew her reasons then maybe the advice would be better,im quite clued up on womens thoughts..seeing as i am one ha ha.i know this is very public ,but no one knows who you are on here.if you could giv me some feed back ,then we can take it from there hey..hope to hear from you soon xx