What Did The Conservatives Achieve In...
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lol
A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.
Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"
A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.
Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"
well if your first night was on the Orient Express, I am not surprised - there's always the other bunk. However, you two if I know you, would have ended up with one of you in Buda and the other in Pest, never mind getting lost in the Carpathians - and when one thinks it costs nigh on £9000 for the first blood on the tracks....expensive, dear.
On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods, the golfer."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."
The couple then makes passionate love.
When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time.
When they finish, he goes back to the phone.
"What are you doing now?" she asks.
"I'm still hungry, so I'm going to ring room service for some food."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."
The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed.
Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole!"
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods, the golfer."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."
The couple then makes passionate love.
When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time.
When they finish, he goes back to the phone.
"What are you doing now?" she asks.
"I'm still hungry, so I'm going to ring room service for some food."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."
The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed.
Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole!"
Newlyweds, Tim and Nancy, spent their wedding night at a hotel.
The following morning, Nancy's closest friend, Jennifer, came over and asked them how their wedding night went.
"I'm so exhausted," Nancy said. "All night long it was up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out."
Misunderstanding her, an embarrassed Jennifer was shocked that Nancy would speak so crassly.
Tim clarified by adding, "Don't ever get a room next to a lift."
The following morning, Nancy's closest friend, Jennifer, came over and asked them how their wedding night went.
"I'm so exhausted," Nancy said. "All night long it was up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out."
Misunderstanding her, an embarrassed Jennifer was shocked that Nancy would speak so crassly.
Tim clarified by adding, "Don't ever get a room next to a lift."
On their wedding night, the young bride went up to her new husband.
"Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not want sex. And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex."
"Okay sweetheart," the groom replied.
"Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink, that means I don't want sex. If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex. But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn't matter."
"Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not want sex. And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex."
"Okay sweetheart," the groom replied.
"Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink, that means I don't want sex. If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex. But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn't matter."
A young woman was preparing for her wedding.
She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.
Well, her mum forgot until the last minute. She dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding, the bride and groom entered their hotel room.
The groom was a little self- conscious, so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there.
"Oh no! It’s short, pink, and wrinkled!" She exclaimed.
Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"
She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.
Well, her mum forgot until the last minute. She dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding, the bride and groom entered their hotel room.
The groom was a little self- conscious, so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there.
"Oh no! It’s short, pink, and wrinkled!" She exclaimed.
Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"
The bride was still a virgin and was worried about the size of her husband’s thing. He told her there was nothing to worry about because it was just like a baby. The newly weds were about to get into bed and he dropped his trousers. She let out a scream and said that he said it was just like a baby. He said “It is. Six and a half pounds and twenty one inches long.”
The newlyweds were ready for bed when the new husband said, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s okay for me to see your body. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?”
She opened her robe and revealed her naked body. He said, “You are so beautiful. May I take a picture?” “Why?” she asked. “Because I love you so much I want to keep your picture next to my heart!”
She allowed him to take a picture but then said, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s okay for me to see your body, too. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?”
He agreed and showed her his naked body. She asked, “May I take a picture too?” “Why?” “Because I want to get it enlarged!”
She opened her robe and revealed her naked body. He said, “You are so beautiful. May I take a picture?” “Why?” she asked. “Because I love you so much I want to keep your picture next to my heart!”
She allowed him to take a picture but then said, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s okay for me to see your body, too. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?”
He agreed and showed her his naked body. She asked, “May I take a picture too?” “Why?” “Because I want to get it enlarged!”
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