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I Stepped

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Patsy33 | 18:31 Mon 20th Nov 2017 | Jokes
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I stepped on snail once as a child. It was my very first crush.
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its ok he was shy...he came out of his shell lol
Question Author
He was so moved, he was in bits....
I opened my front door once saw a snail on my doorstep I picked it up and threw it across the street....4 months later there was a knock on my door I opened it there was the snail who said "what the hell did you do that for"!!
Question Author
Lol.. I like that..
Two snails are sat on the back of a tortoise... one turns to the other and says 'Hey up... here we go'.

My favourite kids joke.
There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a racing car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money! Now his dream could be realised!

He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red "S" on it. When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red "S" on the car?

Simple, the snail replied when people see my car go zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!! See the S car go!
Question Author
Very good Marval! I love that....
Thank you Patsy.
lol i dont get arksided's one
Question Author
Can you explain please Arky? :-)
voltage

tortoise are slooooowww
I am glad it is not just me who is puzzled.
emmie so are snailzzzzzzz
What happens when two snails get into a fight?
They slug it out.
How do snails get their shells so shiny?
They use snail varnish!
Did you know,if a snail was to crawl up your leg, it would be three hours and 37 seconds before you go aghhhhhhhhhh"
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot?
Because it's not fast food.
what did the slug say to the snail ?
big issue ?
I used to have a racing snail but he wasn't very fast. I removed his shell but it only made him more sluggish.
Question Author
^^^^^^
Lol!

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