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"Its the way of the world"
so.....no votes for women then? because it's the way of the world
no same sex marriage? because ITWOTW
bullying....oh that's just TWOTW

shall I go on?
The scary thing is... women seem just as ingrained as men.
// We should never have needed it. No one should.////
wow woofie you never had to deal with gropers in the NHS
remarkable
I walked from an abusive relationship. It took me two years in the planning. I had an accountant on my side though, not many people have that.
"Should never" pp, not "never did".
// Alex Salmond for no reason i can explain, and its not because he is Scot, gives me the creeps.//

and around 50% of the electorate of scotland - the gurlz!
Ummmmm well done to you. Seriously.

We have a friend in abusive situation ... she hasn’t left (yet). We believe she will eventually.

so many people not in that scenario don’t realise it’s not always simple.

(And yes we have offered said friend as much help as we can incl moving in with us)

// We should never have needed it. No one should.////
PP"wow woofie you never had to deal with gropers in the NHS
remarkable "
oh I did....at least I was aware of it....but as I recall, Occupational Therapists and Physios were generally viewed as less likely to be a soft target and certainly less coercible.
//Occupational Therapists and Physios were generally viewed as less likely to be a soft target and certainly less coercible.//

And that is what we ought to be teaching our kids.... how to avoid being a soft target.

Teaching them to be assertive when they are faced with unwanted attention (of any sort)
Is it? Wouldn't you prefer to be teaching our kids not to behave that way in the first place? Why are we going backwards here?
Eve - it was easy because I hated him. I had money and a massive support network. They didn't know I was being abused but I knew I really did have the upper hand. He died, a lonely man, on his own, no friends or family. If it wasn't for my family and the love they have for the children there probably have been about 10 people at his funeral.

I actually found that really sad and I never ever slated him to the kids. I let them find out for themselves. It's why they love me so much.
//Whatever this man has done,…//

Whatever he’s alleged to have done, Barsel. Remember, we don’t actually know that he’s done anything. We only know that a few people have said that he has.

// This is a much broader subject, than saying, just complain straightaway, everyone will believe you and it will be sorted.//

I’m not saying “everyone will believe you”. Quite the reverse. It’s because alleged victims are automatically believed that Mr Clarke has lost much of his livelihood.

// NJ actually seems to be suggesting that men will be men and it happens- accept it//

NJ is not saying that at all. Once again, quite the reverse. If it happens, deal with it. Don’t wait twenty years and don’t expect then that your allegations to be unconditionally accepted.

And we need to separate the situation concerning Mr Clarke (and others like it) from long term domestic violence and abuse. I doubt that the allegations made against him meet the definition of DV. They are as different as chalk and cheese; the causes of them and the way they should be dealt with are totally different.

//Occupational Therapists and Physios were generally viewed as less likely to be a soft target and certainly less coercible.//

"And that is what we ought to be teaching our kids.... how to avoid being a soft target.

Teaching them to be assertive when they are faced with unwanted attention (of any sort)"

Why not teach both things? Why should people ONLY be taught how not to be victims? Why not teach them that its not right to be agressors as well?
Well, partly, nj. The reason people have waited 20 years, is because they know they won't be taken seriously and are certainly not automatically believed.
On the other hand, just now, Clark is also a victim, as he hasn't been convicted. And in the same way, is being assumed to be a liar... and publicised online.
All a fault of our justice system really.
I may be wrong, therefore this is not an accusation but from the words and phrases he has used since this broke it feels like he's saying that if he crossed a line, it's a line he didn't know was there.

We have to ask - why? (all guesswork and of course we can't ask him).

It just puzzles me.
// and are certainly not automatically believed.//

hello excuse me miss!: I was involved in a case where my accuser was automatically believed, and this meant when they came to see me - - - I was expected to refute the allegations

which I did - along with many VERY rude remarks that this wasnt the way round english law operated, and they shouldnt be doing it. I was assisted by the record of a previous case decided in my favour. This brought on further biting comments on res judicata, autrefois acquit and how automatically believing someone could lead to error and obvious unfairness. They didnt like it and neither did I and they havent been back. They didnt know about The Case, but it is their job to, isnt it?

[actually they have- over noise. what do the police have to do with noise - its civil. My neighbour is a lady who doesnt give up!]
PP, automatically disbelieving someone is just as unfair.
However, our principle of "innocent until proven guilty", while laudable... also translates as all accusers are liars, unless they can prove it.
Neither are true.
This seems a 'casting couch' situation. Judging by some tv programs Ive seen, Naked Attraction is tame in comparison, as some seem full on orgies screened. If women choose this occupation then they are complicit to the territory. Noel worked for LSDA as instructer/producer & might be making blue films - whatever drama he is producing every actor/actress can resign if they dont like the plot.
Mamya I honestly think there are some men who don't realise they have 'crossed the line' They think some of the things they do are funny and they are only having a laugh. They don't understand how it feels for the women who are at the other end of this treatment, and they need to be told. If this ruins their career then so be it, they will have learnt a lesson.
barsel "Mamya I honestly think there are some men who don't realise they have 'crossed the line' They think some of the things they do are funny and they are only having a laugh."

I think this reason/excuse doesn't wash with people of his age. It might if he was so naive as to be stupid but i don't think he is....

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