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mimilavender | 21:44 Thu 20th Jan 2022 | Family & Relationships
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I moved out of my mother's house to live with my partner in Luton when I found out I was pregnant. My mother lives in London. It's been 2 years that I've been away and I still miss my mum dearly. I can only visit her once a month since my partner works mon-sat and she has difficulty travelling. It is also far away and expensive. I have a wonderful partner and baby but I feel miserable. It's hard to meet new people with a baby and I feel so low on energy that I don't want to go out. I'm also heavily introverted. I thought that to grow up I had to move out and start a family but I never thought it would turn out this way. I feel stuck and like I'm not making progress in my life. I would love to have some life advice please. Thanks in advance
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Has your partner got any holidays coming up where you can at least visit your Mum ?
You say your partner is wonderful so he will be understanding
Luton to London is not too bad a trek
Have you tried taking baby to a Mother & Baby class ?
Join a local mother/baby club. You will meet other mums there, and it will be a pleasant change for you.
As sticky says, Luton to London really isn't all that far. Could your husband take you there on the weekend and pick you up the following week? Or could you take the train or coach? Consider yourself fortunate that you can see your mum monthly.
My daughter lives in London, I'm in Plymouth...so 3 or 4 times a year just for a weekend is about as often that they can visit as their jobs are demanding. I'm considering taking the coach to see them come spring. I'm 74 by the way.
Agree with Bobbi and Bookbinder. Small steps
Thee are projects around the country to support people experiencing feelings of social isolation. Rather than directly seeking support yourself though, it might be worth considering getting involved to help others (with the benefits then rebounding onto you). In Luton, contact Luton Connecting Communities, on 01992 585961, for further information.

If you're on Facebook, consider making contact with other mothers of young children in your area through the local Mum to Mum group. (You could, for example, make new friends through simply taking your children to the same play centres or activity sessions):
https://www.facebook.com/groups/267675523722134/

If you're able to get a local bus to Luton Airport cheaply, the return fare from there to London Victoria Coach Station is only £11.61 with Megabus when booked in advance. (That might help you save money when visiting your mother). Alternatively a Super Off Peak Day Return rail ticket, valid (among other times) at any time on Sundays, from Luton to St Pancras costs only £11.40. [If you want advice on cheap(ish) travel to a specific area of London, please post again to tell us which part of the capital your mother lives in].
When I first moved out of parental home (1969), it was 210 miles, so visits became quarterly or fewer. But I used letters (remember them) and the telephone. You sound a bit immature with your "to grow up I need to move out and start a family" attitude, I suggest you seek professional help/counselling.

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