Terms Of Imprisonment

[Canary42]

Being over 70, I am allegedly soon likely to be confined to my home, does anyone have any idea of/for the proposed terms of imprisonment?.

For example, will I be allowed out into my front garden ?

Or on to the street to trim my hedge ?

Am I allowed visitors ?

[Don't lose sight of this being in Chatterbank]

[Bobbisox1]

I’m going away to a cabin in rural Northumberland at the weekend with two pals

[douglas9401]

All hedge trimming should be done in privet.

[Spicerack]

If you don't comply with polite requests 'we'll' have to introduce Martial Law.

[rowanwitch]

A friend in self isolation with a bad cold has been advised not to go within two metres of the garden boundaries, not to answer the door but ask people to leave items by door and collect them after they have left. Protective isolation is a bit different but I think the principles are the same. I think I will simple work on the 10 ft barge pole rule.....

[woofgang]

Grants Shapps has said we will be "allowed" to go out for walks....thats generous of him

[gness]

All men (as they are the ones unable to follow instructions) will be tagged. Attempts to remove the ankle tag will result in you being chained to a radiator.
You won't be allowed to trim your hedge. It will keep visitors out and drown your screams of frustration.
Of course you will be allowed into your front garden.....once daily to collect anything left on your plague stone.

;-)

[bednobs]

I presume you could go out in your caroom down to the seafront with a flask and sarnies

[Ellipsis]

Proposed terms are:

Restrict contact with anyone or anything that may infect you if you value your health/life*, otherwise proceed as normal.

* delete as applicable according to your personal situation

[maggiebee]

Scotland have no such restrictions (yet) so just carrying on as usual. If everyone used some common sense we might beat this.

[Barmaid]

If my parent have to self isolate it won't be covid-19 that finishes off my father!

[Theland]

Must disguise myself as a rebellious teenager, leather jacket, ripped jeans, floppy hair wig, then go out on my mobility scooter which is disguised as a motorbike.

[rowanwitch]

I pity the poor sod who tries to tell my mother what to do...

[Robinia]

I've been in my back garden for a couple of hours with next door's cat to keep me company. He doesn't seem overly concerned.

[TheDevil]

"I pity the poor sod who tries to tell my mother what to do..."

That's what I implied Rowan! You can tell a pensioner to do this, do that, do this and do that but at the end of the day, they will do what they want to do!

[rowanwitch]

Her argument. She has got to die of something....

[Peter Pedant]

// f my parent have to self isolate it won't be covid-19 that finishes off my father!//

my more troublesome or quarrelsome relations have been persuaded to stay where they are (gomboolaland or some place (*)) by scientific argument and also the fact that no one will fly there and the borders are closed

we are having a party

[Peter Pedant]

(*) previously South Somewhere

[Peter Pedant]

// does anyone have any idea of the proposed terms of imprisonment?.//
which hasnt been decided on anyway

Good q - of course I do - how cd you doubt it?

the local blacksmith will come with chains and it is either your bed or a radiator
a bucket will be left outside the bedroom door probably to far to reach
no food
they will shoot the dog on the way out
the door is nailed shut with a red cross on it

[bhg481]

PP - I'm a bit worried about that; we haven't got a dog, so are they likely to shoot my wife instead?

[Theland]

Can I take a teddy bear for a walk?