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marval | 18:02 Mon 12th Mar 2018 | Jokes
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I joined three golf clubs today. Now I can practice my putting in the garden from the upstairs bedroom window.

I was milking some cows today. I got most of their money before they noticed the cards were marked.

During our lunch break my boss came up to me and asked me if I could attend a meeting after the buffet. I told him I had too much on my plate.

My mate is a DJ on a building site. He’s a concrete mixer

Earlier, I ate a load of photons It was a light lunch

“I have just climbed to the top of the world’s highest mountain,” I told my friend . “Everest?” he asked. “About every hundred feet,” I said.

I have just walked past my bookcase and heard it say “Whoa! I can hold stuff!” It was a moment of shelf awareness.

I have just finished reading a book about podiatry. The footnotes were excellent.

I got arrested for hitting my wife with a golf club today. I just wanted to putt her in her place.

I spent hours studying the pyramids today. I’ve concluded they’re much nicer than the round tea bags.
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Thanks Marval. You know I like quickies.................
More good ones Marval!
all good lol

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