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starone

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An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery. But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't...
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Can anyone tell me what happens in the following case - The wife aged 76 has died, leaving the husband, aged 86. I am trying to work out how much he will get to live on. He already gets retirement...
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After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks ......
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A man walked into a Waitrose supermarket in London and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was...
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This is probably elementary. So, why the third reich? What were the first and second and what happened to them? Always wondered.
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THIS IS NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS Pass to all 50yrs old. And older and anyone else who could benefit. Cardiovascular Exercise The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into our...
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I walk into a gas station and ask the clerk for 5 dollars worth of gas. He farts, hands me a receipt and tells me to have a nice day. Her job is to bitch, mine is to give her a reason! So let me get...
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Can't do these last few. I hate to give up but have got to the stage where it is driving me up the wall (and over the top). 3. A cooked snack for Aleksandr Orlov (5,8) 24. Where does N = 1, F = 4, and...
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A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new...
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A German woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with...
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I am making green tomato chutney. I have made it before (last year) and it was a bit too runny, so I am obviously making a mistake somewhere. Now this might be elementary to all you cooking gurus out...
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A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses". The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?" The Old Indian answered, "It...
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The children in a class were being taught colours and tastes. Their teacher had brought a roll of "Lifesavers" (round sweets with a hole in the middle) to illustrate her teaching. The children were...
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I have been looking after my daughter's dog for a week and I noticed he was drinking quite a lot. He is fourteen years old and my daughter has now said the same as I noticed, that he is drinking far...
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*In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad...
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A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes... The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, tax...
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?...
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A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving...
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Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked , 'Grandpa, what's that called when two...
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SCOTTISH WEDDING At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled... "Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed...

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