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starone

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starone

A Few Short Ones

SCOTTISH WEDDING At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled... "Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed...
16:29 Thu 19th Sep 20134 answers, last by rosyposy 20:08 Thu 19th Sep 2013
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starone

Resetting The Password

Sorry your password has expired- you must register a new one. Why? Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer? No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one. Why then do I need...
20:48 Wed 18th Sep 20135 answers, last by aelmpvw 13:13 Thu 19th Sep 2013
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starone

A Child's Logic

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read. 'And so the...
19:31 Wed 18th Sep 20133 answers, last by beso 12:22 Fri 20th Sep 2013
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starone

Gary Is In Hospital

Who the hell is Gary ? Well Gary is the geezer who got home late one night and Marilyn, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" Gary replies "I was getting a tattoo!" "A tattoo"? She frowned....
17:33 Mon 16th Sep 201310 answers, last by frozengal 10:57 Tue 17th Sep 2013
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starone

Confessions

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school. They rediscover each other via Friends Reunited and arrange to meet for lunch. Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She...
15:07 Sun 15th Sep 20138 answers, last by maggiebee 17:11 Sun 15th Sep 2013
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starone

Banana Plant

Help needed again! Someone has given me a banana plant (only leaves, no bananas). Does anyone know how big it will grow? I do not want it to take over the garden, but a critical neighbour (yes I have...
11:28 Sat 14th Sep 20135 answers, last by jomifl 14:23 Sat 14th Sep 2013
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starone

The Garden Of Eden - A Poem

First, the Lord made man In the garden of Eden, Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing." After casting about for a suitable pearl, Kept messing around and created a girl. God named...
10:46 Sat 14th Sep 20133 answers, last by frugalfred 16:47 Sat 14th Sep 2013
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starone

Shrubs

Had lots of help from all you gardeners before. Have bought three nice rose bushes at your suggestions. Now I am asking for some more suggestions, this time for small shrubs. I do not want them to...
23:35 Fri 13th Sep 20135 answers, last by starone 10:30 Sat 14th Sep 2013
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starone

The Italian Wedding Test

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister,...
22:29 Wed 11th Sep 20136 answers, last by excelsior-1 16:32 Thu 12th Sep 2013
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starone

Conversation Piece

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?...
22:17 Wed 11th Sep 20136 answers, last by excelsior-1 16:33 Thu 12th Sep 2013
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starone

Three More Irish Ones

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place...
23:02 Mon 09th Sep 20136 answers, last by starone 23:14 Tue 10th Sep 2013
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starone

Two Irish Ones

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. 'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They...
09:13 Mon 09th Sep 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:03 Mon 09th Sep 2013
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starone

The Cruise Hat

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam..I do not intend...
09:06 Mon 09th Sep 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:04 Mon 09th Sep 2013
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starone

Deleting Stuff

I have asked this before, I know, a long time ago, but I have forgotten how to do it and lost the answer (I have looked I promise). How do I delete all the items in my trash file - not the one in the...
20:46 Sun 08th Sep 20132 answers, last by starone 21:02 Sun 08th Sep 2013
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starone

The Little Woman

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.' 'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?' 'When it was over,'...
21:01 Sat 07th Sep 20132 answers, last by frugalfred 21:05 Sat 07th Sep 2013
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starone

A Small Accident

David staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs...
20:51 Sat 07th Sep 20137 answers, last by pixie373 22:08 Sat 07th Sep 2013
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starone

Some More Thoughts

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:NAIVE *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a...
20:47 Sat 07th Sep 20133 answers, last by zebo 23:51 Sat 07th Sep 2013
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starone

Surplus Tomatoes

Any suggestions for dealing with a load of surplus tomatoes? Can I freeze them in any way? And if so, how shall I prepare them? Will be very grateful for any suggestions. I hate to waste them. Haven't...
22:18 Tue 03rd Sep 201311 answers, last by allgram 07:14 Fri 06th Sep 2013
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starone

Am I Wrong To Tip For A Good Job Done?

I have just had a new door fitted. The bloke who did it made a really good job of it, worked efficiently and hard and took all the rubbish away. When he left I gave him a £5 tip because I thought he...
12:40 Tue 03rd Sep 201332 answers, last by Jeza 19:44 Tue 03rd Sep 2013
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starone

Black Angus Bull

I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that...
21:04 Mon 02nd Sep 20133 answers, last by coffeeboy 22:18 Tue 03rd Sep 2013

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