Donate SIGN UP

Rondy

2421 to 2440 of 2501

First Previous 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 Next Last

Avatar Image
Rondy

Being Drunk

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on draught lager he beats me up." Doctor: "I...
10:20 Sat 26th Dec 20201 answer, last by Old_Geezer 10:28 Sat 26th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Retirement Home

Eighty-year-old Bessie bursts into the day room of the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand, can take me out to dinner tonight...
19:11 Fri 25th Dec 20201 answer, last by hellywelly4 19:12 Fri 25th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

In Court

The lawyer was cross-examining a witness. “Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were given £500.00 to throw this case?” The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though...
14:03 Fri 25th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

A New Hearing Aid

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman. "Anything from £2 to £2,000." "Can I see the £2 model?"...
19:51 Wed 23rd Dec 20203 answers, last by Chipchopper 22:05 Wed 23rd Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Buddy

An man drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!"...
19:30 Tue 22nd Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Poor Fisherman

Gavin had been fishing all day without any luck. On the way home he stopped at a fish market and said to the clerk, "Please stand there and throw me a few of your biggest trout." The clerk was...
14:12 Tue 22nd Dec 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 15:00 Tue 22nd Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Dog Tired

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An...
19:57 Mon 21st Dec 20202 answers, last by zebo 12:24 Tue 22nd Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Kids Questions

A woman and her son were taking a cab in London. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings. "Mummy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?" "They're...
14:21 Mon 21st Dec 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 16:19 Mon 21st Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

At A Crowded Bar

A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible odour coming from the direction of the drunk. She turns to...
13:42 Sun 20th Dec 20202 answers, last by Canary42 17:56 Sun 20th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Old Geezers

The three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their hands shook. The first geezer said, "My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!" The second old fogy...
10:15 Sun 20th Dec 20201 answer, last by Old_Geezer 10:18 Sun 20th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Father Christmas

Took my young son to see Father Christmas yesterday and he stank of booze and fags... God knows what Father Christmas thought!...
14:38 Sat 19th Dec 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 17:51 Sat 19th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Parents Who Missed Going To School

These are not made up, they really were letters to Merseyside schools: (Spellings have been left intact.) My son is under a doctor's care and should not takeP.E. today. Please execute him. Please...
16:41 Fri 18th Dec 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 01:20 Sat 19th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Blind Man

There was a blind man standing by the road side, begging for loose change. A man passing by gave him a fake £1 coin. Later the man passed by the beggar again. This was what ensued between the man and...
19:07 Thu 17th Dec 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 19:09 Thu 17th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Eye Surgery

Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in Laser surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking....
15:48 Thu 17th Dec 20202 answers, last by jno 18:39 Thu 17th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

And More

Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite pub. I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!” “No it’s because you’re...
17:13 Wed 16th Dec 20203 answers, last by zebo 20:41 Wed 16th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

There's More

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The...
16:59 Wed 16th Dec 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 20:16 Wed 16th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Salesman

A salesman in a city he'd never visited before was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 22 Greek St. By mistake, he went to...
13:00 Wed 16th Dec 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 20:15 Wed 16th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Honeymooners

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been...
15:51 Tue 15th Dec 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 19:00 Tue 15th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

The Burglar

A burglar alarm sent out its piercing wail in the dark of night in Liverpool and the police arrived just in time to collar the burglar as he was leaving the premises with a big bag full of loot. Soon,...
12:39 Tue 15th Dec 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 19:04 Tue 15th Dec 2020
Avatar Image
Rondy

Packed Bags

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, 'I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.' He turned around and said, "Oh, so, you...
19:50 Mon 14th Dec 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 20:30 Tue 15th Dec 2020

2421 to 2440 of 2501

First Previous 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 Next Last