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Rondy

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Rondy

During Lock Down

The Olympic torch has more chance of going out this winter than me. _______________ If the Rovers, Queen Vic and the Woolpack are open for business tonight I'm kicking off! _______________ Greta...
19:47 Fri 20th Nov 20202 answers, last by tamborine 15:36 Sat 21st Nov 2020
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Rondy

Taking My Son Out For A Drink

An Irishman's first drink with his son: While reading an article last night about fathers and the sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our...
18:45 Thu 19th Nov 20207 answers, last by Patsy33 18:46 Sat 21st Nov 2020
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Rondy

Attractive Neighbours

My lesbian neighbours recently asked me to help them conceive a child. They said they didn't mind doing it the old fashioned way as they were both very liberal minded. Anyway, they're both very...
18:11 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Separate Beds

My wife thinks we should sleep in separate beds. Great idea... I've chosen Karen's, at number 23!...
17:36 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Fishing

Two fishermen are fishing off a bank dangling their legs in the water. A shark swims up and bites one of the men's leg off. "Oh no," shouts the man. "A shark's bitten my leg off." "Which one?" his pal...
14:22 Wed 18th Nov 20202 answers, last by jno 16:18 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Tight Jeans

I don't know about you but the buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other! _____________________ I went to the chemist today, I said ' do you know what best kills the virus ?'...
13:08 Wed 18th Nov 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 16:12 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

G Spot

A friend of mine opened a strip club called 'The G-Spot'. It closed after a week as most men couldn't find it!...
13:47 Tue 17th Nov 20202 answers, last by Spicerack 14:04 Tue 17th Nov 2020
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Rondy

My Kids

Home schooling the kids yesterday, very stressful so breaking the rules I asked the neighbour could they take care of them between 4 and 10, they said 'yes' so I said : "Great, I'll pick them up when...
10:47 Mon 16th Nov 20203 answers, last by marval 20:11 Mon 16th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Social Distancing

Social distancing: The tatty shops on Blackpool promenade have started selling 'Blow Me A Kiss From A Safe Distance' hats! _____________________ Lockdown is really starting to get to me. I've spent...
17:15 Sat 14th Nov 20203 answers, last by iluvmargie 20:12 Sat 14th Nov 2020
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Rondy

50Th Reunion

A woman was shopping for something to wear to her 50th high school reunion when a group of teenage girls came into the same shop to try on dresses for their school prom dance. “Gross,” complained one...
16:08 Sat 14th Nov 20204 answers, last by Patsy33 19:40 Sat 14th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Barking Dog

I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you!
14:26 Sat 14th Nov 20204 answers, last by marval 16:57 Sat 14th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Bored Housewife

Got an e-mail from a bored housewife 32, looking for some action! I've sent her my ironing - that should keep her busy for a while. ________________ Things turned really ugly at my house yesterday....
12:59 Fri 13th Nov 20207 answers, last by Rondy 18:43 Fri 13th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Puzzled Paddy

My pal Paddy looked so puzzled sitting there in the pub with a pint in his hand. "What's up Paddy?" I asked. "Well," replied Paddy. "I can't explain why I've got three brothers but my sister says...
19:51 Thu 12th Nov 20208 answers, last by emmie 09:50 Fri 13th Nov 2020
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Rondy

My Girlfriend

My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order... I should probably have stopped when I got to her name, but......she's now my ex. __________________ "Open doors... Always try to...
17:37 Wed 11th Nov 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 20:28 Wed 11th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Love Messages

A girl sends her boyfriend a message saying: If you are sleeping send me your dream, If you are laughing send me your laugh and if you are crying send me your tears and her boyfriend send her a...
13:50 Tue 10th Nov 20206 answers, last by Patsy33 20:31 Wed 11th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Twitter

Twitter and Facebook are full of people who think they're worse off than everybody else. You all need to be more like my mate Dave... He had a bad car crash where he lost his vocal chords and both his...
13:33 Sun 08th Nov 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 15:24 Sun 08th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Good Reading

I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden... How the hell am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden? __________________ Condoms do not guarantee safe...
09:43 Sun 08th Nov 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 15:24 Sun 08th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Result Of The Lock Down

Result of the Lock down: First time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Reminder: 9pm is the time to remove your day pyjamas and put your night...
17:41 Sat 07th Nov 20202 answers, last by retrocop 17:46 Sat 07th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Speeding

Nearly talked my way out of a speeding ticked once by telling the policewoman who stopped me how stunning she looked. Then bolloxed it up by saying 'and that's not just the drink talking either!'...
09:49 Sat 07th Nov 20202 answers, last by marval 15:55 Sat 07th Nov 2020

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