WARNING: If you get a link called 'free porn' dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it....
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said,...
An American woman goes to England to attend a two week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what...
Kermit The Frog has been arrested. Police raided Kermit’s apartment and found bundles of dirty pictures. Police say it is the worst case of Frogspawn they've ever seen. Two Irishmen were sat outside...
Barry Smith, an inveterate gambler and a Liverpool cab driver picked up a well-to-do oriental businessman from Liverpool John Lennon Airport. On the trip to Aintree racecourse he told Barry that he...
A criminal with a long record of transgressions was on trial for his latest crime. The jury found him guilty on 33 counts and the judge sentenced him to 189 years. Realising that even with time off...
Do you remember the day we first met?" A wife asked her husband. "Yes," he smiled. "Stood across the bar; short hair, long legs, bright blue eyes, *** to die for." "Ooh," she giggled. "What happened...
Four hundred pounds worth of LEGO was stolen from a shop in London last night. The criminals parked the getaway car a few blocks away. I was hoping to get a part in Mathematics The Musical But I...
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs. "Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?" asked the man. "Just stay in bed with me. He's...
A man was lying on the bed watching one of those adult phone-in channels on the telly. He dialled the number at the bottom of the screen. The girl came on and said.- “Hi sexy, what can I do for...
I was at a job interview today. The interviewer said to me, "On your CV, it says that you are a man of mystery." I said, "That is correct." He said, "Would you like to elaborate?" I said, "No."...
Two of my friends were having a discussion, this is what I heard. Which hole have you put it in? Are you sure you have it in the right hole. There is a right and a wrong way to put it in. Yours is a...
"I hate having a fan by the bed all night. All I want to do is sleep, but the constant cheering and asking for autographs keeps me up for hours." Did you hear about the troublesome teaspoon It went...
Aaron Campbell the person who killed Alesha MacPhail, has had his sentence reduced by three years. It is because he was only sixteen when he killed her. After what he did I don't think it should have...
70 year old Mrs Jones went to the doctor for her annual check-up. He told her that she needed more activity and recommended sex three times a week. She said to the doctor "Please tell my husband." The...
I was driving along today when a cop stopped me. "Papers" he said as I wound down my window. "Scissors" I replied, "I win" and with that I drove off. He must have wanted a rematch because he kept...
Does anybody on here like watching live webcams? I find them quite interesting. I watch a couple on the Norfolk Broads, and there is one site where there are loads from all around the world. I watched...
I went to Waterstones the other day for a book on turtles. The assistant said “Hardback?” I said, “Yes, with little heads” My boss told me that as a security guard, it is my job to watch the...
