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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My wife asked if I knew any tennis puns. I replied "They're really not my forte, love."...
07:22 Tue 05th Jul 202214 answers, last by Bazile 12:19 Tue 05th Jul 2022
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Hopkirk

Language Difficulties

Have you had difficulty communicating while overseas? I struggled at a McDonald's in the US After placing my order the staff member rapidly said what sounded like "izitagaw". I said pardon a couple of...
14:47 Mon 04th Jul 202236 answers, last by DTCwordfan 07:57 Tue 05th Jul 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My inflatable house got a puncture last night. Now I'm living in a flat....
07:14 Mon 04th Jul 202217 answers, last by Arksided 17:16 Mon 04th Jul 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I said to my wife "Would you like a KitKat Chunky" Five hours in A&E....
08:23 Sun 03rd Jul 20223 answers, last by Arksided 10:46 Sun 03rd Jul 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I keep saying "Welsh rabbit" instead of "Welsh rarebit". I think I'm suffering from mixing my toasties....
07:46 Sat 02nd Jul 20228 answers, last by zebo 21:54 Sat 02nd Jul 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I'm dating an anaesthetist. She's a local girl....
07:09 Fri 01st Jul 202213 answers, last by Patsy33 07:43 Fri 01st Jul 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I just met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in our local park. She sells C cells by the seesaw....
07:35 Thu 30th Jun 202211 answers, last by 1ozzy 06:33 Fri 01st Jul 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The owner counted out thirteen and handed them over. I said "You've given me one too many" He replied "That one is a freebie"...
06:47 Wed 29th Jun 20229 answers, last by Chipchopper 14:54 Wed 29th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I used to be a programmer for autocorrect, but they fried me for no raisin.
07:16 Tue 28th Jun 20227 answers, last by 1ozzy 07:41 Tue 28th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A friend of mine went for an interview with an airline in Helsinki ten years ago, and he hasn't been seen since. He vanished into Finnair....
06:17 Mon 27th Jun 202212 answers, last by Chipchopper 08:53 Mon 27th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Two wind turbines standing in a field near Glastonbury. One says "What sort of music do you like?" The other replies "I'm a huge metal fan"....
08:49 Sun 26th Jun 20222 answers, last by Spicerack 08:58 Sun 26th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My mate has a new girlfriend, who works on the bin lorries. The trouble is he can never remember if he's taking her out on Wednesday or Thursday....
07:50 Sat 25th Jun 20227 answers, last by Patsy33 12:02 Sat 25th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was a one night stand....
07:04 Fri 24th Jun 20229 answers, last by Smowball 09:34 Fri 24th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

I'm Happy 3

Son finally gets his PhD graduation ceremony next week after covid postponed it...
16:22 Thu 23rd Jun 202213 answers, last by murraymints 17:48 Fri 24th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow "Do you mind if I say a word?" The widow replies "Please do" "Bargain" he says. She says "Thanks, that means a great deal"...
06:59 Thu 23rd Jun 202211 answers, last by Ken4155 17:39 Fri 24th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My cat has just eaten three mallards. He's a duck filled fatty puss....
06:47 Wed 22nd Jun 202213 answers, last by Patsy33 10:26 Wed 22nd Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Some people say filling animals with helium is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat....
06:44 Tue 21st Jun 202217 answers, last by zebo 20:47 Tue 21st Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I had to steal something to stir my pancake batter with. It's a whisk I was willing to take....
07:08 Mon 20th Jun 20229 answers, last by mallyh 09:07 Mon 20th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I caught my son chewing an electrical cable, so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and conducting himself properly.
08:25 Sun 19th Jun 20227 answers, last by Bazile 15:54 Sun 19th Jun 2022
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The man who invented Strepsils has died. Apparently there will be no coffin at his funeral....
07:34 Sat 18th Jun 20227 answers, last by Hopkirk 16:38 Sat 18th Jun 2022

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