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chrisrob

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chrisrob

Rumble in the jungle

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best. The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey didn't have...
10:29 Mon 20th Apr 20093 answers, last by poodicat 14:31 Mon 20th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

More Daffynitions (from an old Washington Post)

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade...
10:54 Sun 19th Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 12:50 Sun 19th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Cheese

For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're...
10:42 Sun 19th Apr 20098 answers, last by No,Knowledge 14:17 Sun 19th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

and more

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe there was a dog.
07:01 Sat 18th Apr 20091 answer, last by Dear-Doris 00:03 Wed 02nd Jul 2014
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chrisrob

more

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy > > > > He didn't know what a colonoscopy entailed, but he got it in the end.
06:46 Sat 18th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

For your de lick tation

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners...
10:22 Fri 17th Apr 20096 answers, last by Madmonks 19:38 Sat 18th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Cockney Alphabet

My mum used to recite a version and there was a song made of it, but for those who've never heard of it, I present for your education, a version of The Cockney Alphabet: A for Horses B for Mutton C...
12:08 Thu 16th Apr 200915 answers, last by chrisrob 07:10 Sat 18th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Sting in the tail

News is coming in of a group of sticky-fingered thieves who apparently get a buzz out of breaking into a bee-keeper's yard and stealing the honey. Police are organizing a sting operation to catch them...
10:58 Thu 16th Apr 20093 answers, last by marval 17:29 Thu 16th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Some more one liners

Anatomy - something that everybody has but somehow looks better on a girl > Bachelor - a fellow that can take women or leave them, and prefers to do both. > Mistress - something between a mister...
11:59 Wed 15th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Some more one liners

Anatomy - something that everybody has but somehow looks better on a girl > Bachelor - a fellow that can take women or leave them, and prefers to do both. > Mistress - something between a mister...
11:59 Wed 15th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 13:26 Wed 15th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

A couple more for your delectation

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? A: Bacon and legs! > > > > > Confuscious, he say, "Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground. "
11:03 Wed 15th Apr 20092 answers, last by no-knowledge 11:09 Wed 15th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

A couple more

At the pet shop I saw a parrot painting a picture with a brush held in its beak. "That's clever," I said. "Oh, it's only a politician," was the reply. > > > > > > Our vicar loves...
10:23 Tue 14th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Which of these digital cameras

I want to buy my wife a digital camera. She liked the look of one in Tescos. I have searched on the net and found it: Samsung S1060 at ?129 http://direct.tesco.com/q/R.205-3982.aspx But I have also...
12:43 Mon 13th Apr 20094 answers, last by peterthomos 11:14 Thu 13th Dec 2012
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chrisrob

Bank holiday bonus pun

At the field athletics championships, a man picked up a steel ball on a length of chain and started eating it. "What's all that about?" I asked. "Ignore him, he's only a hammer chewer," was the reply.
10:10 Mon 13th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

One pun

I went to work for a newspaper and was surprised when a man rushed in brandishing a rolled up newspaper and proceeded to strike the office workers about the head before rushing out. "What's all that...
10:09 Mon 13th Apr 20091 answer, last by weecalf 11:11 Mon 13th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Cutting the bacon

Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon;...
11:01 Sun 12th Apr 20093 answers, last by The-Mangler 02:01 Mon 13th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Punning for gold

One entrepreneur says to another: "I've just been in the Far East prospecting for gold." "Japan?" asks the second entrepreneur. "Gosh, no," he replies. "I used much more scientific methods."
11:07 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Something for the long holiday weekend?

1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 2. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 3. The teacher confiscated a catapult in the...
11:03 Fri 10th Apr 20095 answers, last by marval 16:48 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

The last of my medical daffynitions

Inpatient - Tired of waiting Intern - One after another Intestine - Currently taking an exam Jaundice: To include in a group Kinaesthetics: Relationships among relatives Leper: A wild cat Malaria:...
10:27 Thu 09th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 12:33 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

For art's sake!

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when...
10:22 Thu 09th Apr 20097 answers, last by no-knowledge 18:02 Fri 10th Apr 2009

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