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Chipchopper

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Chipchopper

Useful Tips In Lockdown...

Anyone have any handy tips during lockdown, things that may limit the need to go out for supplies would be appreciated. I'll start the ball rolling. Surplus milk that you may find in your cereal bowl,...
09:26 Thu 04th Feb 202118 answers, last by royfromaus 23:28 Thu 04th Feb 2021
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Chipchopper

Make Up

I know there's probably no right answer for this, but my wife turned to me and asked : - "Dose my makeup look alright to you ?" I took a deep breath and replied "well to be perfectly honest, I think...
15:27 Wed 03rd Feb 20211 answer, last by Patsy33 19:10 Wed 03rd Feb 2021
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Chipchopper

Water

After shelling out top dollar for a fancy bottle of spring water in the convenience store and just to rub some salt in the wound, I suddenly came to the realisation that Evian spells naive if you care...
15:03 Wed 03rd Feb 20213 answers, last by Patsy33 18:49 Wed 03rd Feb 2021
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Chipchopper

Omelet

What's your favourite filling ? I'm going for cheese and mushroom later....
15:25 Tue 02nd Feb 202139 answers, last by Apc2604 17:54 Tue 02nd Feb 2021
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Chipchopper

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

As I sat watching the TV with my feet up and sipping my ice cool beer. I noticed my wife was looking through the window. After some deliberation, I decided I'd best let her in, as the weather forecast...
15:27 Sun 31st Jan 20211 answer, last by Patsy33 20:27 Sun 31st Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Peckish ?

Knock knock. Who's there. Cat. Katsu. Thats right I've got your curry order here....
12:19 Sun 31st Jan 20217 answers, last by Chipchopper 16:11 Sun 31st Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Coronavirus Vaccine

Had mine done today. Nurse "It's Pfizer" Me: "fiver, I thought it was free ?"...
16:48 Sat 30th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

You Aint From Round Here Ru ?

A pizza enters a bar and orders a drink then says to the barman "why the heck is everybody staring at me ?. The barman replies: "if I were you, I'd get the hell out of here, everybody wants a piece of...
15:27 Sat 30th Jan 20211 answer, last by Bobbisox1 15:28 Sat 30th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Throat Or Nasal Spray

Covid vaccine is understandably much in the news currently, but I seem to remember a couple of weeks or so, ago, scientist had developed a spray that offers a high protection against coronavirus. I...
11:26 Fri 29th Jan 20213 answers, last by Peter Pedant 22:47 Sat 30th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Just Checked The Desk Diary....

Dental appointment, tootherty
07:53 Fri 29th Jan 202114 answers, last by tiggerblue10 22:06 Fri 29th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Darn Birds

I've just returned from a backpacking Australian out back. I twisted my ankle while on a walkabout and couldn't get any painkillers for love nor money. The paracetamol...
07:33 Fri 29th Jan 20216 answers, last by Patsy33 12:42 Fri 29th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

24 Hours From Tesco

I just got back from the 24 hour grocery shop. When I got there, the guy was just locking the door. I said "Hey not so fast buddy, the sign says open 24 hours" He said "yes, but not in a row!"...
07:20 Fri 29th Jan 20213 answers, last by zebo 01:14 Sun 31st Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

A Few Letters Short Of A Scrabble Board

A pal of mine who is rather short-sighted went to get a vasectomy and ended up joining the Scottish national party. "How on earth did you manage that" I begged to ask! Well he said :" I just followed...
11:28 Thu 28th Jan 20213 answers, last by Patsy33 16:51 Thu 28th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Theres A Reason

It's just a brisk five minutes walk from my house to the pub. It's a thirty-minute walk to the pub to my house. The différance is staggering...
09:07 Wed 27th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Playing Games

As a kid, I was forced to walk the plank. Me papa told me, we couldn't afford a dog!...
11:13 Tue 26th Jan 20213 answers, last by piggynose 11:22 Tue 26th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Hospital

I was visiting a hospital in Scotland today and noticed one of the wards was particularly noisy, with patients shouting poetry at each other. I stopped a nurse and asked her if this was the...
16:24 Mon 25th Jan 20211 answer, last by Patsy33 21:07 Mon 25th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

I Had To Ask

I saw the farmer herding his cows from one field to another, I had to ask him : "why are all your cows wearing bells around their necks ?" He quickly replied "because their horns don't work"...
15:40 Fri 22nd Jan 20215 answers, last by Patsy33 18:37 Fri 22nd Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Vanished

Whatever happened to all those great magicians, congeners, illusionists etc ?. They all seem to have disappeared....
20:03 Wed 20th Jan 20218 answers, last by Chipchopper 16:55 Thu 21st Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Getting The Jab

I was stood in a cue and waiting to get my vaccine done, when I noticed an elderly pirate in front of me, waiting to get his jab done too. I heard the nurse say to him "may I ask you how old you are...
15:14 Wed 20th Jan 20211 answer, last by Patsy33 15:35 Wed 20th Jan 2021
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Chipchopper

Brown Eyed Girl, Van Morrison

Always loved this song. I guess the song is mostly about memories of young love and happier days. The lyric that has puzzled me for years though is "What ever happened when Tuesday and so slow" can...
15:39 Thu 07th Jan 202115 answers, last by barry1010 18:50 Thu 07th Jan 2021

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