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What is the difference between a bathroom in the bedroom and a blonded nymphomaniac in the bedroom? One is en-suite and the other is on heat! Why did the Irishman leave his job at the casino? He...

JonnyBoy12

fantastic elastic joke

Why couldn't the traveller take his elastic fasteners into the airport? Because they were banned (band)!

JonnyBoy12

Where did Noah keep his bees? In his ark-hives! What did the apiarist say to his misbehaving bees? Beehive yourselves! Why do bees hum? Bee-cause they don't know the words! And finally an epitaph on a...

dukas68

last one for now lol

girl that scores? fantastic time a man has 8 -a-a---a

bcearthangel

Birds in Migration

Many birds must store large amount of energy to power flight during migration. Which type of organic molecule would be the most advantageous for energy?why?

lainiej

Geese

I live in thenorth east of England and every evening at 8pm flocks of geese fly over towards the north. Then every monring at around 7am they fly back towards the south. Why is this? And also, why do...

babybop6379

How do scientists know?

how do scientists know that certain animals can only see in black and white , some see colour and so on? the animal cant say nowt so how do they know?

proudmary

tarantula

anyone know anything about tarantulas????? got my daughter one and its lovely but it may sound stupid it has spun a web of sorts is this normal????i know its a spider but i cant find anything in the...

Whickerman

gyno-mechanic

A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change...

Stephen_G

A guy goes into a Watchmakers.

The assistant says "Can I help you?" The guy undoes his flies and slaps his willy on the counter. She says "You dirty ******. What do you want?" He says "Put two hands and a face on that!!!!!"

carrust

Employment jokes.

I wanted to be a baker, but they didn't have a roll for me. I wanted to be a printer, but I was afraid of being typecast. I wanted to be a plumber, but it was just a pipe dream. Any more?????

topogigo

Muslim bashing?

How long is the AB going to allow so called jokes, about muslims to be posted in this thread? The bomb in the mosque joke, how funny is that then? I thought it was the terrorists that we generally...

Loosehead

Dope back up to class B....

So is the the governement admitting it was wrong to downgrade this mind altering Highly addictive, filth? Or is there a more sinister motive?

AB Asks

ASBO for serial suicide attempter

A woman has been banned from the sea after taxpayers foot a ?1m bill for her 50 suicide attempts. The woman has tried various different ways of ending her life - including jumping off piers and wading...

dilligaf

Came far too early.

Man goes to the doctors having problems with premature ejaculation. Doctor tells him when you feel you are going to come give yourself a fright by firing a starter pistol in the air to prolong sex,...

Avatar

Shy essayist gets a plant (7)

L- - -L- - I think Lobelia but why Shy essayist???! Also: Nobody's Daily account (5) Diary? Again why? Thnx

brionon

20 miles an hour

Should the man who has just said on BBC news :-'It takes a lot of concentration to drive at 20 miles per hour'', be allowed to drive ?

anotheoldgit

Why is this word censored?

I have in the past had the word **** (a male bird) censored on this site. I have now heared that the RSPB (Royal Society for the Protection of Birds) have also censored this word on their site, and...

Gromit

Will you be signing the McDonald's petition?

The Oxford English Dictionary currently describes a McJob as "an unstimulating low-paid job with few prospects". Fast-food giant McDonald's has launched a petition to get the dictionary definition of...

stelladrinka

Gordon Ramsay F Word

Does anyone know where the restaurant used in the current series (series 3) of The F Word currently on Channel 4 is? Also whether you can still book places for it?

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