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marval | 16:55 Sat 12th Jan 2013 | Jokes
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Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I get myself a new hat.
They smell a bit but at least they're free.


I had a candlelit dinner the other night.
Everything was really undercooked.


So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?"
I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."


My uncle slipped on some beans last week.
If only he had the benefit of Heinz sight.


I never jump on bandwagons.
I climb the steps carefully so as not to damage my trombone.


I went to a party for meteorologists yesterday.
Lovely atmosphere.


My friend is really interested in magnets.
Personally, I can't see the attraction.


I bought a cheap Jack-in-a-box and it failed miserably.
It doesn't surprise me.


My great grandfather once paid a famous artist to draw a portrait of him.
Unfortunately the artist died half way through and never got to finish the work, so that was a waste of Monet.


My mate was in a go kart race and kept going even after all his wheels fell off.
It was a tireless effort


Somebody closed the lid on my piano. Now I can't open it because the keys are inside.


I was driving down the road when I ran over some hummus.
A little further on, I hit taramasalata.
Then I saw a road sign:
'Caution - dips in road'
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the last one is the best of those, marval

well done
Question Author
Yes, I liked that one best
They all made me laugh.
On a roll marval, on a roll!
Gun un's again marval.

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