Transport

marval | 22:53 Tue 08th Jan 2013 | Jokes

10 Answers

I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, "Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side." It made me cross

A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub.
Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours.

Just spent ages waxing the car.
Still not sure how it gets that hairy.

I walked into the newsagents and asked if they sold Oyster Cards.
The cashier said, "For the bus?"
I said, "No, it's my oyster's birthday."

I've figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets;
I've taken the windscreen wipers off my car.

I found a Land Rover buried in one of my fields.
It was a nice Discovery.

I've been cycling to work for a month now.
You'd think I would've got there by now.

I go away on holiday next week. One of my colleagues has just asked me if he could come in my suitcase. That's quite an odd fetish I thought.

Just failed my driving test, “What is a sign you may see on a motorway?"
"Pick your own strawberries" apparently isn’t an acceptable answer!

After experiencing another long delay I went up to the ticket office at the train station. ' What’s the point of having a train time table if all the trains are always late, ' I said. ' Well if we didn't have a time table how would we know the trains were late, ' replied the clerk.