A Few More

[Rondy]

Two not very bright chaps decide to run a pub but fail miserably.
One of them suggests opening a brothel but the other is of the opinion that if they couldn't sell beer they'd never sell soup.
___

I've just been to a pub called The Goalkeepers Arms…
What a dive!
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My Dad always said that it was rude to point.
Great Dad, terrible bricklayer.
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My brother and I are really competitive when it comes to buying gifts for our mother’s sister.
This year, my brother bought her a stairlift.
He’s really upped the Auntie this time.
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I’ve just started reading a book about fantastic underground rooms.
It’s a best cellar.
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[Patsy33]

Some very clever ones here! Lol...

[retrocop]

Really enjoy them and the previous. Thanks

[Khandro]

Very good !
For some reason those short ones reminded me of an English comedian called Cardew Robinson (aka Cardew the Cad)

He used to tell jokes & get the punch lines mixed up, so he might say, using Rondy's gags;

I’ve just started reading a book about fantastic underground rooms.
What a dive! (actually that nearly works !)

(embarrassed laughter)

Then he'd tell another;

I've just been to a pub called The Goalkeepers Arms
It’s a best cellar. (omg that nearly works too!)

Slight pause & the the audience would realise what had happened to great hilarity.

Anyone remember him?

[zebo]

For those of us old enough to remember the 1958 Cup Final when Bolton's Nat Lofthouse shoulder charged the Man U goalkeeper Harry Gregg into the goal and the goal was allowed, in later life Lofthouse kept a pub in Bolton and Gregg went in. As Lofthouse handed over the drink to Gregg he waved away the proffered money, We don't charge goalkeepers here!