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Laughter In Court
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I read in the current Oldie a story from an Old Bailey court case of 1958. The presiding judge being Mr Justice Hinchcliffe. As the defence, Rose Heilbron KC, was about to open with her submission, she was interrupted by one of the jurors who stood up & addressed the judge so;
Juror: Please m'lud, I wish to be excused.
Judge: And on what grounds do you wish to be excused?
Juror: Because my wife is about to conceive.
Judge: Surely you mean she's about to be confined - but either way I think you ought to be there!
(Laughter in court)
and here :0)
Juror: Please m'lud, I wish to be excused.
Judge: And on what grounds do you wish to be excused?
Juror: Because my wife is about to conceive.
Judge: Surely you mean she's about to be confined - but either way I think you ought to be there!
(Laughter in court)
and here :0)
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even in 1958 it wasn't that common for husbands to be present at the birth (and never in the actual room). There was a story of a naval rating asking for leave as his baby was about to be born: the captain told him it was a good idea to be there when the keel was laid down but no call to be present at the launching.
A man in court was found guilty, and the judge asked him if he had anything to say for himself before sentence was passed. The man said: f*** all, yer 'onour.
The judge turned to the clerk and said: what did he just say?
The clerk said; he said f*** all, your honour.
The judge said: Really? I was sure he said something.
Sorry folks. I'm off!
The judge turned to the clerk and said: what did he just say?
The clerk said; he said f*** all, your honour.
The judge said: Really? I was sure he said something.
Sorry folks. I'm off!
Q: What is your brother-in-law’s name?
A: Borofkin.
Q: What is his first name?
A: I can’t remember.
Q: He’s been your brother-in-law for 45 years, and you can’t remember his first name?
A: No. I tell you I’m too excited.
Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin,
"Nathan, for God’s sake, tell them your first name!"
A: Borofkin.
Q: What is his first name?
A: I can’t remember.
Q: He’s been your brother-in-law for 45 years, and you can’t remember his first name?
A: No. I tell you I’m too excited.
Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin,
"Nathan, for God’s sake, tell them your first name!"
John Mortimer told the story of a woman plaintiff who was too embarrassed to say what the accused had said to her. The judge said perhaps it would be less distressful if you wrote it on a piece of paper which could be handed to the jury. She agreed & wrote, 'How would you like a s h * g ?'
The paper was passed to the jury who each read it & passed it on. The penultimate juror was a very attractive young woman who finding the last juror next to her; an elderly gentleman who had nodded off, nudged him & handed it to him, he smiled at her & put it in his top pocket.
The judge said, "Will you please give that piece of paper back to the clerk of the court?", to which he replied, " It's purely personal, my lord".
The paper was passed to the jury who each read it & passed it on. The penultimate juror was a very attractive young woman who finding the last juror next to her; an elderly gentleman who had nodded off, nudged him & handed it to him, he smiled at her & put it in his top pocket.
The judge said, "Will you please give that piece of paper back to the clerk of the court?", to which he replied, " It's purely personal, my lord".
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