I wouldn't be told. If it's in the invitation, it would be polite to say in the reply...thank you, i would love to come, but don't wear hats, is that a problem.... kind of thing. If I got married (and I wouldn't) I would appreciate the time, presence and interest of family and friends, even in their PJs. I wouldn't dictate items of clothing.
I love an excuse to wear a hat....of course there is always a fascinator...oddly enough there are loads (brand new) in some charity shops righ now...try a couple on . They are fun. If you don't like them (the bride and groom) much then don't go but if you do then conform ..everyone else will..you can always take it off after the service.
Well I can remember the days when one was not dressed correctly without a hat. I really wish the trend would start up again,I would love to see everyone wearing a hat, I never go out without one.
I hate wearing hats and would struggle to find one that looked ok on me. However, I'd be glad of the dress code given on the invitation so I knew I wouldn't be the only one wearing one and feeling ridiculous.
Summer weddings are great with the ladies dressed up for the occasion. It's one of the things that makes it. Sadly I have seen some at weddings in the ubiquitous, shapeless, cheap black trouser suit which they've worn to work all week, complete with manky chewed up bottoms and finished off with scuffed black shoes the shape and consistency of stottie cakes.
This request may be a device to avoid this sort of turnout...
Prudie I would expect to dress properly for an occasion if I go....Its not that I won't be told what to wear, rather that if the inviter sets any kind of condition on my being able to go to something I have been invited to, I will consider how much I will like/dislike complying with the condition against how much I want to go to the event. So for a beloved niece lets say, I would pull out all the stops including a hat...for someone who I care about less I would politely decline the invitation.
RobNorth, there is nothing in the "wear a hat" requirement that would prevent people turning out for it looking like they have been pulled out of the ragbag....not indeed anything to prevent them going in a Dior dress and a "Where's Wally" bob hat.