Hats At Funerals

[Barmaid]

Does anyone wear them anymore? I normally wear a hat to a wedding, but never have done for a funeral. But then I'm lucky enough never to have been a prominent part of a funeral before.

I've got a funeral coming up (Mr BMs father) and it's going to be quite a big one and I am quite conscious that I'll be "on display" and the one of the main hosts to the wake. Clearly, I do not want to let Mr BM Snr or Mr BM down.

I've got a 50s style dress, jacket, clutch bag and heels - I have entered a much more feminine stage in the last 18 months. Is a pill box hat with a tiny net too much do you think? (Although a friend of mine suggested a full veil so I can get shedded at the wake and no one will notice my eyes.............) I quite fancy one, but dont know if it is "too much".

Views, please?

[Buenchico]

I normally avoid funerals but I allowed myself to be pressured into attending my uncle's one earlier this year. I can't recall seeing any of the women wearing formal hats. (i.e. some women were wearing 'everyday' hats to keep their heads warm on a cold day but there was nothing 'showy' about them and many women were hatless anyway).

[Buenchico]

PS: There were definitely no veils!

[Mamyalynne]

Either with or without hat is fine these days.

The pill box sounds right with your outfit.

[naomi24]

Personally I wouldn't. I do wear hats for weddings but not for funerals where I feel understated is more dignified.

[Islay]

Knowing how much the NI folk enjoy a funeral I was surprised at how casual they are even the chief mourners wore smart casual wear, not a hat in site apart from the funeral directors.

[Patsy33]

I agree with Naomi.

[Voltage]

hi BM been to 3 funerals in last year cant recall any women wearing hats and definitely no veils ...but its your choice xx

[johnny.5]

I think hats are optional but the paper hats of the type you get in party crackers is a definite NO NO !

[Barmaid]

I think I'm with Naomi atm,too.

The veil thing was a joke. That's not even a consideration! My gallows humour might get me into trouble............

[NoMercy]

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/545895970/black-pillbox-hat-with-veil-funeral-hat?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=black pillbox hat&ref=sr_gallery-1-9

Something like this would be my choice.

[woofgang]

When my Mum died she wanted a bright and fancy funeral and her female friends who had known and loved her did her proud. Those who had fancy hats wore them....I guess it was about 50/50 hats to not. If you are really concerned, maybe ask Mr BM or his Dad. Whatever the outcome I think they will appreciate your desire to do it right.

[jennyjoan]

I think it is the dad's funeral.

[Tilly2]

A Pill box hat minus the veil would be fitting. I'd be more mithered about hosting the wake.

[MallyJ]

Wear what pleases you....the rules have been bent out of shape many years ago. I have been to funerals where people sport gardening clothes, jeans, colours (without being asked to) ... it seems anything goes. I always wear total black but that is because a large proportion of my clothes are black. A pill box hat with a small veil would look brilliant and be respectful...rather Jackie Kennedy. Smart, respectful and stylish.....love it.

[Barmaid]

Hmmmm, food for thought.

Hosting the wake is not really an issue for me. As long as everything goes well. I think I've got all my soldiers in order for that. It wont fail for lack of planning, that is a fact. And I've been very very lucky inasmuch as I've had help from a veritable expert.

[ummmm]

I've never seen hats at funerals either except the ones Chris mentioned.

[Barmaid]

That's precisely the sort of thing I had in mind NoM. And yes Mally, it is a bit JackyO!

But werent those days so glam? Ladies looked like ladies!

[Buenchico]

>>> My gallows humour might get me into trouble

I had to fight hard not to laugh when my uncle's coffin was carried out of the church as his favourite song was played. Nobody else seemed to notice the humour in being carried off to a crematorium to the sound of 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes' ;-)

[Prudie]

I also don't recall seeing hats at funeral either except possibly on ladies of the very senior generation.

[jno]

Chris, that happened to a solicitor friend of mine who arranged a client's funeral. He found a cassette of his client's favourite music and told the crematorium to play it, and sure enough...