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marval | 18:02 Mon 18th Oct 2010 | Jokes
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Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test.

The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc.

The doctor says to the second lady, "It's your turn now. What is three times three?" "Friday," replies the second lady. "Ummm humm..."

Then the doc says to the third, "Okay, mam, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," she says. "That's wonderful!" says the doc. "Tell me, how did you get that?"

"Simple," she says, beaming... "I subtracted 297 from Friday!"
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Once upon a time there were three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, and they all lived together.

One night the 96 year old ran a bath. She put one foot in and paused. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yelled.

The 94 year old hollered back, "I don't know. I'll come and see." She started up the stairs and stopped. She shouted, "Was I going up or coming down?"

The 92 year old sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sister’s shook her head and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," and knocked on wood for good measure.

Then she yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
Just like the three old ladies travelling on the London Underground.

1st lady, "Is this Wembley?"
2nd lady, "No, it's Thursday"
3rd lady, "So am I, should we get off and go for a drink?"
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There were three old ladies sitting on a park bench talking amongst themselves when a flasher came by. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

Well, the first old lady had a stroke, and then the second old lady had a stroke, and the third old lady, well, she couldn't reach that far.
lol at all of these!
Question Author
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."

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