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Gin and tonic

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soaps | 20:30 Wed 08th Jun 2011 | Jokes
32 Answers
and a DOUBLE VODKA!
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A nun and Mother Superior came into an irish pub and the Mother Superior went and sat in the corner and fell asleep.

The other nun went up to the bar and said to the bar man "give me a gin and tonic because Mother Superior is constipated".

The barman thought I don't know how this will help but since she is paying he gave her it. The nun picked up the glass and downed the gin and tonic in one go.

The nun then said "give me another gin and tonic, Mother Superior is constipated"

So the barman gave her another one wondering how this is going to help. again the nun picked up the gin and tonic and downed it in one.

This goes on for about an hour and 12 gin and tonics later the barman said to the nun (who could barely stand at this time) "How is you drinking all these gin and tonics helping Mother Superior"

The nun said, "well when Mother Superior sees me in this state she will sh1t herself"
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DT, I'd love to read them sometime ;-)
Question Author
Sometime!! but not tonight....DT.
It's the way you tell 'em! Don't give up the day job
Gin... and tonic


A Polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a gin... .............................................
.......................................and
tonic."

The bartender asks, "What's with the big pause?"

The bear says, "I dunno, I've always had them."
Question Author
Thanks Roger/Simon, I'll take that on board.
Question Author
LOL DT,,,,,I read that one, thumbs-up!
One for you soaps,

So two ducks are sitting in a bathtub. The first duck asks, "Would you pass the soaps," and the other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"
Its like a dingbat say what you see, DOUBLE VODKA capital letters small letters doubled??
Question Author
DT, I'm trying to figure out the duck one, but I don't get it!

Astonvilla, i'll never figure out your one,
I dont know which is more insulting here!


A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here."

The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here."

So the guy figures he'll fix them, he takes the gorilla home, shaves off all her hair, gives her a nice wig, lipstick, red dress, etc. He takes her back to the bar and says, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here."

The bartender gives them the drinks and they go off and sit down and chat. The bartender turns to his buddy at the bar and says, "You know, that drives me crazy, it seems like every time a good looking Italian girl comes in here, she's with a black guy."
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