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I’ve learned 99% of the English language.
I’m almost their.
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I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted:
"This is a stick up!"
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Yesterday I went rock climbing and the guy above me kept farting.
It was by far the worst ass scent I’ve ever had to deal with.
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How do you apply tartan paint...... With a Bay City Roller.!
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Never go camping in the woods.
Whenever police find a body, it's always in a tent.
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This fella said to me today: “Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?”
I said: “No, they're mine”
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Identification by dental records is sometimes necessary.
But if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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If you're feeling lonely... Dim all the lights & put on a horror-movie.
After a while it won’t feel like you're alone anymore...
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