Should I Tell This Guy No Point Speaking...
Family & Relationships2 mins ago
Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar, the barman says "Is this some kind of joke?"
27 Answers
Ladies and Gents, just for gigles please regale us with your worst jokes, your bad-taste jokes, your down-right disgusting jokes and your lame jokes.
I'm sure the AB Stasi will be watching so they can moderate and remove anything that they deem inappropriate.
So lets crack on!!!
I'll start with a lame one just to get the ball rolling:
What goes green, red, ping?
A frog in a microwave
I'm sure the AB Stasi will be watching so they can moderate and remove anything that they deem inappropriate.
So lets crack on!!!
I'll start with a lame one just to get the ball rolling:
What goes green, red, ping?
A frog in a microwave
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by bobjugs12. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
A man in his 90's, for a Special Birthday Gift from his Grandsons, is sent a Stripper to his home to entertain him. After she rings the bell of his home, she informs him that his grandsons sent her as a special birthday gift, to provide her services.
The grandfather asks her, " What do you do?" She said ,"I can provide you "Sup-er Sex". “He says, “Look, I'm 98 years old, I'll take the Soup!"
The grandfather asks her, " What do you do?" She said ,"I can provide you "Sup-er Sex". “He says, “Look, I'm 98 years old, I'll take the Soup!"
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field. The Englishman says "Look at that fine English cow." The Irishman disagreed, saying "No, it's an Irish cow." The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. "No, it's a Scottish cow -look it's got a set of bagpipes underneath."
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!
But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out!
The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out!
The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.
By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs popped out.
The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.
The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out!
The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out!
The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.
By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs popped out.
The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.
The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
-- answer removed --
A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on a beach.
Along come three beautiful, nubile blonds who take pity on the man.
The first blond says to the man "Have you ever been hugged?", "No" says the man so she hugs him.
The second girl asks him "Have you ever been kissed", "No" says the man, so she kisses him.
The third asks him "Have you ever been screwed?", "No" says the man with a grin on his face, so she points out to sea and says "You are now, the tides coming in!"
Along come three beautiful, nubile blonds who take pity on the man.
The first blond says to the man "Have you ever been hugged?", "No" says the man so she hugs him.
The second girl asks him "Have you ever been kissed", "No" says the man, so she kisses him.
The third asks him "Have you ever been screwed?", "No" says the man with a grin on his face, so she points out to sea and says "You are now, the tides coming in!"
Latest Posts
Crosswords4 mins ago
Quizzes & Puzzles12 mins ago
Food & Drink13 mins ago
Home & Garden17 mins ago
Twitching & Birdwatching22 mins ago