1 He said to me . ... .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you? 2 He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping...
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Wyoming, Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered...
The following questions were set in an examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons. A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. How is dew formed? A. The sun shines...
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a...
Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any...
Once there were 3 sisters - Ann, Jan and Fanny. All 3 had big feet. Ann was a size 9, Jan was a size 10 and Fanny was a size 13. Ann and Jan went on a double date. Amazed, one of the boys said, -...
Jack was sitting on a train across from a blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he was unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realized she was wearing no...
A husband walks into David Jones to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from £250 to £500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price....
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labour. I work at great depths. I plunge head first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public...
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place...
A Scottish Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied for membership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application has been rejected. He went to the...
1. A woman in labour is screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass but NO, you said that might hurt!" 2. I spent $5,000...
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into...
Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin into an envelope for?" "I'm sending a voicemail ya fool!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy says "Mick, I'm...
Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, "Do you want the winner of the next race?" Paddy replies "No tanks, oi've only got a small yard."...
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely....
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a...
