A Japanese couple is having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex. Husband: ‘Sukitaki.’ Wife replies: ‘Kowanini!’ Husband says: ‘Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!’ Wife on her...
A policeman was patrolling late at night off the main road. At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to...
Charlie was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other boys, when he came into the house and asked , 'Grandpa, what's that called when...
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband standing around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked. "Yes, 3 males, 2...
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he...
I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey...
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The...
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a...
The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a...
One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So he asked his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action. "Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?" "Well Superman, everyone knows that....
Paddy goes into a sandwich bar and says, "How much are the cheese rolls?"
He is told,"Two for £1."
Paddy says,"How much is one?"
"75p."
Paddy says, "I'll take the other one."...
A man is walking behind his wife and says, "Your ass is getting so big it looks like a washing machine." The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking. Bedtime comes around, the man starts getting amorous....
Two Aussies, Ferret & Knackers, were adrift in a life boat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions Ferret stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed it vigorously, sure enough out popped a genie ....
A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?' The parrot says, 'I...
He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> He said to me ......
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.... He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks...
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education...
Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his...
A tough old sheep farmer from Scotland gave some good advice to his granddaughter. He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder onto her porridge every morning. The...
