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An orthodox rabbi is studying in his living room, when there is a knock on the door. When he opens the door, it is a policeman, who informs him that the rivers are rising, a flood is expected, and...
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DC Blonde A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse...
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Lawyers A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about...
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K-9 Unit A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call...
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The Sheriff & Billy-Bob One day the Arkansas county sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his boots. The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the heck are you doing walking around...
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Trust In Your Fellow Officer A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this: Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I...
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Lorraine There was this cop and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work at the station and discovered that a woman rookie officer had...
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A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. "I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're...
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The Irishman & The Cop A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied,...
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Little Johnny Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"...
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A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but...
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American/Russian At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any...
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It Could Have Been Worse There once was a sheriff who, no matter what the situation, always said, "It could have been worse" after viewing the scene of the crime. It drove his two deputies absolutely...
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Burglary Lessons A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no,...
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many ways. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that...
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My wife has received DVLA Form V11 reminding her to tax her vehicle on it's 1st year anniversary of registration. Her vehicle is a Skoda Fabia Greenline which is tax exempt. What is the DVLA...
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A GREAT ANSWER TO A DUMB QUESTION: Katie Couric, while interviewing a Marine sniper, asked: "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?" The Marine shrugged and replied: "Recoil." (Hard to fault a...
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Picture Saddam Hussein sitting in his office contemplating the current crisis and drinking coffee... His phone rings… "Kia Ora", would that be Saddam Hussein?" "Hello, yes, this is Saddam speaking,...
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The elderly American Navy Soldier arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport. “You ‘ave been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked sarcastically....
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Little Billy'came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy...

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