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Patsy33

1701 to 1720 of 1932

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Patsy33
Jokes about unemployed people are not funny. They just don't work.
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Patsy33
Getting a job as an airline pilot is really difficult these days, when your name is Mr. G. Hadd.....
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Patsy33
My girlfriend is leaving me because she says I'm obsessed with Transformers. She shouted, "You are not a Transformer, you are stupid!" "I said, I can change" She replied, "There you go again!".......
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Patsy33
My son who works at a well known supermarket, told me 7 people were caught shoplifting at the weekend. Apparantly, they were gypsies? --/travellers? What they were doing, is sending their kids in to...
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Patsy33
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky that it was a soft drink...
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Patsy33
A pessimist's blood type is B.Negative...
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Patsy33
Don't go camping in the country side. Have you noticed whenever the police find a body, it's always in a tent....
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Patsy33
Have I already told you the joke about deja vu?
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Patsy33
I was thinking of writing a mystery novel........Or do I??......
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Patsy33
What an unusual voice! I love it. Such a great song writer. How's anyone heard of him? His latest song is called One Day.
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Patsy33
I went to a therapy group to help with loneliness. Nobody turned up.......
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Patsy33
My daughter text me this morning from hospital where she was awaiting small op to remove a cyst on her ovary. The Surgeon came to see her and drew a circle on her forehead! She asked him what on earth...
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Patsy33
Does anyone know if Omeprazole can make you put on weight? Have been taking them a couple of years, 20 mg to begin with and this last year 40 mgs. My weight has gone up by about a stone last several...
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Patsy33
I manufactured clown shoes.... which was no small feat..
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Patsy33
Just been to my local hospital and noticed a sign on the wall. It said, "Thieves operate here" Surely it would be better for Surgeons to operate?........
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Patsy33
I was going to join a debating group but someone talked me out of it....
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Patsy33
I originally wasnt going to get a brain transplant, then I changed my mind.....
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Patsy33
Why should you never mention the number 288? Because it's too gross!
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Patsy33
Paddy in Whetherspoon: He asks barman, "How much is a pint of lager?" Barman says, "A pint is £2 or a pitcher for £7" Paddy replies, "Give me a pint, feck the photo!"......
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Patsy33
When the inventor of the drawing boards messed things up, what did he get back to?...

1701 to 1720 of 1932

First Previous 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 Next Last