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Patsy33

1681 to 1700 of 1932

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Patsy33

Slugs

How can I protect my new kidney beans from slugs eating them? I don't really want to use slug pellets. Is their a natural solution?? Tia
11:57 Tue 07th Jun 201621 answers, last by Old_Geezer 17:15 Fri 10th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

On The Take

I'm a kleptomaniac. When it gets bad, I take something for it.....
10:01 Tue 07th Jun 20168 answers, last by Patsy33 10:40 Tue 07th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Kettle

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle?" This bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"...
22:27 Mon 06th Jun 201615 answers, last by Patsy33 10:16 Tue 07th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Don't Shoot!

When William joined the army, he disliked the phrase, "fire at will'..........
13:51 Mon 06th Jun 20161 answer, last by marval 21:46 Mon 06th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Sing Up!

I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.........
09:33 Sun 05th Jun 20161 answer, last by Patsy33 08:00 Tue 07th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Rude Awakening.

How do you wake Lady Ga Ga up? Poke 'er face....
23:05 Sat 04th Jun 20167 answers, last by 1ozzy 00:29 Sun 05th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Word Play.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really, it was just a play on words.
14:33 Fri 03rd Jun 201612 answers, last by Patsy33 23:18 Fri 03rd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

A Banker No More.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest....
14:01 Fri 03rd Jun 20168 answers, last by marval 21:53 Fri 03rd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Popping Up.

My horoscope said an ex would be popping up. I've been down the canal all day and thankfully there has been no sign of him....
00:21 Fri 03rd Jun 20162 answers, last by marval 11:58 Fri 03rd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Ufo's

It was about the late eighties, if I remember correctly, in N.Somerset. My mother, who couldn't sleep very well due to arthritis in her knee, got up to take some painkillers and made herself a drink....
23:25 Wed 01st Jun 201616 answers, last by 10ClarionSt 15:53 Thu 02nd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

High Minded...

My doctor thinks I'm taking hallucinogenic drugs. How do I know? Let's just say a little bird told me.......
22:24 Wed 01st Jun 20169 answers, last by 1ozzy 23:44 Wed 01st Jun 2016
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Patsy33

A Sign.

There's a sign on the lawn outside the re-hab centre saying, Keep off the grass...
21:42 Wed 01st Jun 20166 answers, last by Patsy33 22:05 Wed 01st Jun 2016
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Patsy33

New Broom.

A new type of broom has come out. It is sweeping the nation.......
21:49 Tue 31st May 201611 answers, last by Patsy33 23:56 Tue 31st May 2016
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Patsy33

Off Colour.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor said I was ok but I feel as if I dyed a little inside.....
12:09 Tue 31st May 201612 answers, last by EDDIE51 22:57 Tue 31st May 2016
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Patsy33

Acupuncture.

Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers....
19:33 Sun 29th May 20165 answers, last by 1ozzy 09:12 Tue 31st May 2016
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Patsy33

Moving On....

The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory. She was fed up with the hole business.....
11:42 Sat 28th May 20166 answers, last by frugalfred 16:36 Sat 28th May 2016
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Patsy33

Time To Eat?

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming...
20:20 Fri 27th May 201619 answers, last by Patsy33 22:54 Fri 27th May 2016
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Patsy33

Now There's A Proper Man!

A Fisherman, a reel man.......
13:09 Fri 27th May 20167 answers, last by Patsy33 13:22 Fri 27th May 2016
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Patsy33

For Sale.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
23:18 Thu 26th May 201614 answers, last by marval 21:41 Fri 27th May 2016
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Patsy33

Part Of Life...

Boy comes home from school and says to his dad, "I'm in the school play! I'm playing the part of a dad who's been married for 25 years". Dad says, "Never mind son, next time you might get a speaking...
10:47 Thu 26th May 20164 answers, last by marval 17:43 Thu 26th May 2016

1681 to 1700 of 1932

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