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Patsy33

1241 to 1260 of 1933

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Patsy33

Naked

As I stood there looking at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself ............I'm gonna get thrown out of ikea in a minute..
12:05 Thu 30th Mar 20175 answers, last by Patsy33 13:53 Fri 31st Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Help With 60Th Birthday Gift.

Myself and husband have been invited to a cousin's husband's 60th Birthday do. He is into flying, training to be pilot of small plane. Any ideas as what to get him?? Between £20-£30.....
21:48 Wed 29th Mar 201713 answers, last by Cloverjo 14:36 Thu 30th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Donor

This bloke gets a bone marrow transplant from a donor in Argentina and the operation was a great success. So he wrote him a thank you letter which began – “Dear Diego, Marrow Donor...”...
18:13 Wed 29th Mar 20172 answers, last by Arksided 19:51 Thu 30th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Pizza Delivery

When I rang up for a 747 pizza, the guy on the other end didn't seem to know what I was on about. I said, "You know, a large plain please"......
13:38 Wed 29th Mar 20171 answer, last by Shaglene 15:14 Wed 29th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

New Film..

Just watched a new film called 'The Ruler' It didn't measure up to much.......
12:32 Tue 28th Mar 20176 answers, last by jno 18:15 Tue 28th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Clem Curtis

Just seen Clem Curtis from the Foundations has died today. Always loved song Build me up Buttercup and a few more. RIP Curtis, great singer.
20:02 Mon 27th Mar 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 20:31 Mon 27th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Suit

Just bought a suit made from a cactus. I look really sharp..
15:48 Mon 27th Mar 20175 answers, last by AB Editor 15:08 Tue 28th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Good In Bed...

I'm actually pretty good in bed. I don't fall out so much now....
14:08 Mon 27th Mar 201717 answers, last by Bazile 20:23 Mon 27th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Two Mice..

Two mice chewing on a film roll. One says to the other, "I think the book was better"......
17:53 Sun 26th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Shoplifters

I was delivering a speech to Saudi Arabian shoplifters in which I denounced how Saudi Arabia punishes its shoplifters. They seemed moved by it, but the applause was very quiet....
17:55 Sat 25th Mar 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 18:26 Sat 25th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Middle Of The Road.

I was weaving dangerously in the middle of the road when it occurred to me that I should find a better place to make a wicker basket....
20:15 Fri 24th Mar 20174 answers, last by Samjenko 15:44 Sat 25th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

A Suspect..

A suspect was charged with killing a man with sandpaper, in defence he said, " I only meant to rough him up a bit"....
23:00 Thu 23rd Mar 201711 answers, last by Patsy33 11:12 Sat 25th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Overdrawn.

I'm really overdrawn at the bank and they keep phoning me and leaving voicemails. I wish they'd just leave me a loan....
21:18 Thu 23rd Mar 20174 answers, last by weecalf 17:52 Fri 24th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Taxi Driver

I used to be a taxi driver but had to give it up. I couldn't stand people talking behind my back..
14:38 Wed 22nd Mar 20173 answers, last by Fanriffic 20:43 Thu 23rd Mar 2017
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Patsy33

My Doctor..

My doctor has just told me I'm paranoid. I wonder who else he's told?.......
12:46 Wed 22nd Mar 20175 answers, last by percy1946 18:00 Wed 22nd Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Downloaded

I've just downloaded a copy of the Bible from the internet. When I'd finished it said, 'Saved'....
23:49 Tue 21st Mar 20176 answers, last by Baldric 21:39 Thu 23rd Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Police Are After...

Police are after the 'knitting needle nutter' who's stabbed 6 people. They believe he's following some kind of pattern.
00:10 Tue 21st Mar 201710 answers, last by marval 19:13 Tue 21st Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Toys R Us

I was in Toys R Use today when I noticed a long queue. I asked a member of staff what was going on. She said, "Oh, that's the Barbie queue". So like an idiot, I waited over an hour to get a bleedin...
19:25 Mon 20th Mar 20172 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:32 Mon 20th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Sandwich

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He phones the Police and says, 'Bejaysus i've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb' Is it ticking, the operator asks No i tink it's...
20:39 Sun 19th Mar 20179 answers, last by vulcan42 11:00 Mon 20th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

I Really Wish..

I really wish I knew who kicked the jack out from under the car that I was working on. The suspension is killing me..
19:02 Sat 18th Mar 201723 answers, last by Tilly2 22:05 Sat 18th Mar 2017

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