Oscar Pistorius has announced he would like to compete in the World championship in Moscow after getting bail. However athletes will be pleased to hear that he will be put in lane 8 in every heat as...
Sometimes when I go to shops I've teased the assistant like below. Have you ? Matalan - "Would sir like to keep the clothes hanger" - "Is it cheaper if I don't take them ?" Clarkes shoes - "My feet...
A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. It walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be served. A fellow who was already in the butcher...
Mrs Nessie Birthday today, can't tell you her age but it starts with a 4 and ends in a 9,
Your right ! 4,555,329 years old.
Away to nurse my injuries ?
Nessie :- (...
Sometimes Mom in passing Would pat you on the back And sometimes in passing She'd show you the right track. Sometimes Mom in passing Would say, "You sure look nice!" And sometimes in passing She...
Learned this week that male Panda in Edinburgh Zoo does handstands to piddle high as a sign of courtship to its mate.
Do any of you have a strange habit like this ?
Nessie :- )...
True story last Friday I was on local bus when Polish women I know came on and asked to go to the free bank. Driver looked confused said there was no such place in the town she was going to. She paid...
Viewed this on youtube, will have you in laughing out loud.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwe8zAPb4…
Post it in browser if link does not work....
An Englishman, a Italian and a Scotsman were in a boat together in Loch Ness. When I made a surpise visit ? The Frenchman jumped out the boat and I eat him, the same with the Italian. The Scotsman...
This farmer's ram dies just before lambing season. So he phones his neighbour who is also a famer and asks him how much would it cost him to buy a ram from him. He reply's £3000 ! the bloke say's he...
Whats your view folks. The reason I asked someone came on a local bus with ot chicken wings and proceeded to devour them on the bus. On leaving she left chicken bones on bus seat. You may have guessed...
Seen them with orange faces, spending 30 minutes in bus pruning their eyebrows to draw them back in again. Some have that must makeup on, if it cracked it would make their backside jealous. "A little...
Two babies lying in a cot together and the first one say's to the other "Are you a boy or a girl?" "Don't know"replied the second baby The first baby said "Well I can tell" and put a head under the...
