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marval | 17:32 Fri 21st Aug 2015 | Jokes
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A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery.

Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a fishing boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked, “That man must have been a very keen fisherman."
"Oh, he still is," replied one of the mourners.

"As a matter of a fact, he’s headed off to the lake, as soon as we have buried his wife."
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Some years ago my Dad and myself were stood at the bus stop opposite the local crematorium. As we stood watching a long cortège entering the crematorium the man next to us in the queue asked " Who's dead ? " my Dad said straightaway "Him int' front car " Not a joke I know but I thought it merited a mention.
18:56 Fri 21st Aug 2015
Lol
Like the golfer just about to play a shot when he stopped, doffed his cap and bowed his head as a cortege passed in the distance.

"That was a very respectful thing to do", remarked one of the players.

"Well, she was a good wife to me for over 50 years", he replied, "it's the least I could do".
Some years ago my Dad and myself were stood at the bus stop opposite the local crematorium. As we stood watching a long cortège entering the crematorium the man next to us in the queue asked " Who's dead ? " my Dad said straightaway "Him int' front car " Not a joke I know but I thought it merited a mention.
When our Mother was ill she lost a huge amount of weight, after she died we were choosing clothes in which she would be interred.
I selected a suit I knew she had really liked and help it up to show my brother, his reaction was But that'll bury her! Seemed a good choice then. Not disrespectful, she would have been the first to see the funny side.
I recall the hearse being slowly driven down the street led by a man with a dog on a lead. There were hundreds of people slowly following the procession.
A bystander shouted to the man with the dog, "Who's dead mate?"
"My mother in law", replied the dog owner.
"Sorry to hear that mate,said the bystander, how did she die?"
"My dog bit her" said the dog owner.
"Crikey can I borrow your dog after the funeral"? says the bystander.
"Sure. Join the queue behind the hearse!!!!"

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