Upset Beyond Endurance

[chanel5]

What can you do when you are so upset by things someone has said that you can barely breathe? I want to wreck things, but haven't the energy. I want to confront the person, but that would make things worse. Frustration, anger and offence are what fills me and I can't see past them. Can anyone suggest anything - anything at all - to make this feel better?

[ummmm]

You just have to face the fact that you can't change what has been done. Although negative emotions are natural they'll just make you feel even worse.

Go do something to relax. Take a long bubble bath or something.

[jourdain2]

You can't change things. On one occasion I wished I could. I didn't want to make things worse, so kept quiet - but then I didn't know what to say, communications became stilted. Eventually a 40 year-old friendship broke down. Still upsets me, I can't work out why these things were said - many outright lies. So, I'm sorry, I can't suggest anything apart from it would have been better to keep even the stilted contact going because then there was still a chance of things mending.

[atalanta]

You could write a letter saying just how hurt you feel. You don't have to send it, though.

[jakep]

I was once consumed by so much anger that I feared for myself. A friend drove me to the sea late at night. I ran along the beach and screamed and screamed.
You did say 'anything at all' and this helped me.
There is the old saying 'Least said, soonest mended' but that doesn't help how you feel right now.

[Old_Geezer]

Go do something that calms you. Listen to music, meditate, count to ten million. Whatever. And don't dwell on it for long working yourself up if the issue comes to mind. Accept that you thought about it again, and move on to something more worthy of being thought about.

[askyourgran]

That is only ONE person's opinion, file it away in the back of your mind. Stand tall and whatever else keep your dignity, believe me that person is the idiot/cretin - not you. There may be a time in the future when you can turn this around, but don't do anything now while you are so angry and upset. Hope things turn out OK for you chanel5.

[AliceTickband]

Dont ruin a good tomorrow by thinking about a bad yesterday

[maggiebee]

I would scream, shout out loud exactly what you would want to say to this person and punch the pillows/cushions until you get it out of your system.
Once you have calmed down a bit you can think logically what steps you want to take.

[woofgang]

The only person who can make you feel this way is you. Why are you taking any notice at all of this person? They are obviously not worth taking any notice of.
Can they hurt you physically or do anything to you apart from words?

[chanel5]

Sorry about this post. I had a meltdown. All of you who posted replies are so kind and your words are wise. I did the "empty chair" thing, literally talking to an empty chair as if the person was sitting there. As I talked to the empty chair, I got louder and louder and I got angrier and angrier, until eventually I was exhausted but not angry any more. The tight feeling of pain in my chest has gone. The things said could still hurt if I dwelt on them, but I can now control my thoughts enough to avoid thinking about them. In a few days, I can examine them over again a few times, until they become empty of hurt. Thank you to everyone who posted. I am humbled and grateful that you took the time to reply.

[Georgiesmum]

Put some nice music on and have a long soak in the bath., that will help.

[Georgiesmum]

If you can afford it go for a massage. You will feel so relaxed when you come out you will feel almost horizontal.

[Robinia]

Whenever I don't know what to and there's an option to do nothing then that's exactly what I do. It's amazing how things often sort themselves out....and with a few days/weeks peace you'll automatically feel better.

[woofgang]

Robi, that's good advice, Just like Scarlett O'Hara.
"I'll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day."

[bhg481]

If the words were said purely to wind you up then Robinia's suggestion is perfect. There's no better way of getting back at someone trying to annoy you by either ignoring them or agreeing with them.