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Need Poems About Bread Please

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Ann | 14:09 Tue 25th Jun 2013 | ChatterBank
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Can anyone help with any poems (preferaby humorous) mentioning bread please or subjects relating to bread, types of, diets etc.

I am organising a "bread-tasting" evening with all kinds of different types of bread to sample (with salad, and nice things to spread on bread etc) and I want to do a bread quiz (I've already done that) interspersed with some poems or rhymes about bread. I looked in Pam Ayres and Spike Milligan's extensive range but found nothing. Can anyone help please? Not much on internet either ........... Many thanks!
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Je ne regrette a la un grand baguette du Fontain le Fleur, by Les Bien

I'll never forget
the size of his baguette
when he showed it to me on Monday
as proud as he was
the patisserie boss
it was rather disappointing by Tuesday
He tried again
and by quarter to ten
he produced another on Wednesday
I nibbled the end
and couldn't pretend
This thing could last me til Thursday
But just at that time
When feeling sublime
he asked me to come back on Friday
Disappointed I was
And feeling so lost
I made my own on Saturday
But to my dismay
the nuns that pray
were kneeling at his feet by Sunday
this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vfvoR4kGDI
The King asked
The Queen, and
The Queen asked
The Dairymaid:
“Could we have some butter for
The Royal slice of bread?”
The Queen asked
The Dairymaid,
The Dairymaid
Said, “Certainly,
I’ll go and tell
The cow
Now
Before she goes to bed.”

The Dairymaid
She curtsied,
And went and told
The Alderney:
“Don’t forget the butter for
The Royal slice of bread.”

The Alderney
Said sleepily:
“You’d better tell
His Majesty
That many people nowadays
Like marmalade
Instead.”

The Dairymaid
Said, “Fancy!”
And went to
Her Majesty.
She curtsied to the Queen, and
She turned a little red:
“Excuse me,
Your Majesty,
For taking of
The liberty,
But marmalade is tasty, if
It’s very
Thickly
Spread.”

The Queen said
“Oh!”
And went to
His Majesty:
“Talking of the butter for
The Royal slice of bread,
Many people
Think that
Marmalade
Is nicer.
Would you like to try a little
Marmalade
Instead?”

The King said,
“Bother!”
And then he said,
“Oh, dear me!”
The King sobbed, “Oh, deary me!”
And went back to bed.
“Nobody,”
He whimpered,
“Could call me
A fussy man;
I only want
A little bit
Of butter for
My bread!”

The Queen said,
“There, there!”
And went to
The Dairymaid.
The Dairymaid
Said, “There, there!”
And went to the shed.
The cow said,
“There, there!
I didn’t really
Mean it;
Here’s milk for his porringer
And butter for his bread.”

The Queen took
The butter
And brought it to
His Majesty;
The King said,
“Butter, eh?”
And bounced out of bed.
“Nobody,” he said,
As he kissed her
Tenderly,
“Nobody,” he said,
As he slid down
The banisters,
“Nobody,
My darling,
Could call me
A fussy man—
BUT
I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!”
or this one? Media URL: http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/b/bobandtom17966/toastsong498818.html
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Question Author
Thanks a lot for looking folks, not sure if they are all suitable for our group of elderly ladies but will maybe choose a couple. :)
Not so much bread but the crumbs:


Crumbs To The Birds
By: Charles Lamb

A bird appears a thoughtless thing,
He's ever living on the wing,
And keeps up such a carolling,
That little else to do but sing
A man would guess had he.

No doubt he has his little cares,
And very hard he often fares,
The which so patiently he bears,
That, listening to those cheerful airs,
Who knows but he may be

In want of his next meal of seeds?
I think for that his sweet song pleads.
If so, his pretty art succeeds.
I'll scatter there among the weeds
All the small crumbs I see.
Johnny had for breakfast,
Oh such nice bread and Milk
Horrid stuff I'll leave it
Mother said you may,
but though Johnny
You'll have nothing more today.
On the shelf she placed it
covered it with a plate
Now go to school now Johnny
or you will be late
Off to school went Johnny
crying all the way
She'll be sorry if I die today..
Then he heard the school bells
he was crying even more
then he saw his mother standing at the door
Are you good now Johnny
Here's your milk and bread
I could eat a dog biscuit, horrid Johnny said,
He sat there and he ate it
and thought it very nice
so children, when your dainty,
think of Johnny Price.
“I like bread and butter,
I like toast and jam,
That's what my baby feeds me,
I'm her loving man.”

Why has our poetry eschewed
The rapture and response of food?
What hymns are sung and praises said
For the home-made miracle of bread?
Ann if the people that are going to hear the poem are 'older', I think jno's suggestion is ideal, its an old nursery rhyme which they would probably have heard before but forgotten years ago, and its quite amusing. X
Question Author
Gosh thanks Maggie, thats dragged up memories - remember that song well! Newbeats 1964! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RIHL-Fpef0
I recently bought (for less than a fiver) pack of 'Jaques Original Happy Families' which we played with my now grown up daughters and offspring, we had a very jolly time. They loved to see all the old familiar faces; Mr Bun the Baker, Miss Bun the Baker's Daughter etc. Perhaps you can work that into your evening, even as illustrations.
It is incidentally I re-discovered, a really great game; having to say "Not at home" and "Please" etc. It is I'm sure more fun than the abundance of computer games.
Barney Hughes bread
It sticks to your belly like lead
It's not a bit of wonder you Phart like thunder
Barney Hughes bread.

A Belfast kids street rhyme from the early 20th Cen. Maybe not suitable but I thought I'd post it anyway
Question Author
Nice idea Khandro, I loved to play Happy Families and remember Mr Bun the Baker! and Mr Plumb the plumber. :)

Ann; Mr Grits the Grocer, Mr. Tape the Tailor, Mr. Dose the Doctor and more, but sorry but no Mr. Plumb, :-) If you once played it you'll love seeing them all again. My personal favourites are the Sweep family - all of them covered in soot!
Take a pinch of flour
Water and some dough
Oh bread how I “knead” you
To the oven you shall go
“Rise” up in the heat
The mix of yeast and grain
Natures one true recipe
That science can’t explain
So hot, crisp and lovely
A little slice will do
Topped off with summers finest jam
Oh bread how I love you
You may like to know that this months Readers Digest has a very interesting article on French bread. How it is made etc. It is a good read.

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