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amylew | 17:59 Thu 12th May 2005 | History
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yes, tell me a story about anything you want
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Okay Amy - I was mowing & strimming the front lawn yesterday afternoon & when I looked down at the pile of grass, I noticed something brown & fluffy with stripes. On closer inspection, I realised I'd been raking over a beautiful baby Chaffinch that had tried to leave its nest. I was so shocked as it appeared barely alive & I called out to my Granddaughter who'd popped by after school to pick it up. She fed it with water dripping from a leaf & before long it started chirping. She realised it came from a nest in our Laurel hedge & sitting in it was its baby sibling. My Granddaughter gently placed it back in there & the Mother soon came down to feed them. It was so lovely watching their tiny little mouths opening for food. Alas, this morning I went to check on the nest & the same baby bird had died. The sibling & Mother had left. It upset me so much to think that if I hadn't decided to do the gardening & hadn't raked it up, it would also had left & flown into the the big blue sky. Long but sad saga!

Poor smudge. I would have been upset too.

Last week I called to see an elderly neighbour (93 yrs) who is a bit creaky but mentally alert...or so I thought. He was watching the snooker finals on TV and said "How do men get time off work to play snooker during the day?" Supressing a giggle, I told him that the snooker players were professionals. This must have puzzled him even more because he said, "Well how on earth do men with a good profession get time off work to play snooker?"

It was a dark and stormy night; the wind blew up a gale. The cook said to the skipper, "Skipper! Tell us a tale!" And this is the tale he told: it was a dark and stormy night; the wind blew up a gale. The cook said to the skipper, "Skipper! Tell us a tale!" And this is the tale he told: it was a dark and stormy night; the wind blew up a gale. The cook said to the skipper, "Skipper! Tell us a tale!" And this is the tale he told: it was a dark and stormy night; the wind blew up a gale. The cook said to the skipper, "Skipper! Tell us a tale!" And this is the tale he told: it was a dark and stormy night; the wind blew up a gale. The cook said to the skipper, "Skipper! Tell us a tale!" And this is the tale he told: it was a dark and stormy night; the wind blew up a gale. The cook said to the skipper, "Skipper! Tell us a tale!" And this is the tale he told: it was...

In a dark cemetary, two men with torches were walking home. suddenly they heard a noise. And they saw an old man kneeling by a grave chiselling away at a gravestone.

"Oh, you frightened us" one man with a torch said. "we thought you were a ghost."

"Sorry," the old man said. chiselling away furiously "but these idiots have spelt my name wrong."

Indie, my dad used to tell us that one as a bedtime story!!!
would you like to see where the horse bit me?
Once upon a time, there were 3...
little children who lived with their parents in a tiny cottage in the woods.  One day a traveling minstrel came to their door asking for food and a place to sleep.  The children's mother said.....
today i have been cleaning .baking .washing .while mr daisy sat on his backside..so i asked him to cut a bush down and the idle bxxxxr said he felt tired and went off to bed while mrs daisy who never gets tired went out and chopped and hacked at this bush for nearly two hours..she then cleaned up the mess watered the garden came in and mr daisy was up from his afternoon nap and asked for mrs daisy to run him a bath..i shall come back as a man in the next life..and i will then get an afternoon nap.. 
The last man in the World sits in his house when there's a knock at the door.

"Well, who might that be?", he wandered out aloud. "I thought I was the last man in the world". He stood up and slowly made his way to the door. "Who's there?", he asked, a little shakily.

"It's Rosalinda." came the reply. "I am the last woman in the world."

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