promiscuity

[happytohelp]

hey guys im needing some oppionions here. i am oding research for a theatre piece and dneed some thoughts on sexual promiscuity, i know many think it is harmless but others do not find it appropriate- what do you think? is it ok to enjoy sex and have many different partners?? thanks everyone

[camille79]

I don't think there is any thing wrong with promiscuity per se, so long as the encounter is safe, there is no adultery and neither person is under any false delusions about it being a relationship.  Cliche that it is, there is a difference to having sex and making love and I have to say that I have had a few relationships based on a strong sexual attraction and it was never enough.  On the other hand, I wasn't initially attracted to my current partner in that way particularly but still enjoy a healthy sex life as a means of expressing feelings as well as the natural urges. 

I had many sexual partners in my teens and early twenties and don't regret any of them, I can't imagine only having been with one person although understand how this can be important to some.  The only time (especially for women) it becomes an issue is when you do the whole " how many partners have you had" conversation.  no matter what anyone says, I think women are still looked down on for having numerous partners.  

[Englishbird]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it in priniciple.  However there are those who are promiscuous purely because they are looking for some form of validation of themselves.  If it's promiscuity for promiscuity's sake then i think it's fine, for men and women - it's when feelings get hurt, lies are told and people humiliated that it becomes a problem.  If you are a self secure adult participating in consentual safe sex - then go for it ;o) (just wish i got more offers)

[andy hughes]

The concept of using sex for affirmation is one that is frought with all kinds of psychological problems. For a well-balanced mature adult who knows exactly what and where the boundaries are, promiscuity is not a problem. The problem occurs because these people usually have to involve a man somewhere!

[landie]

Ah, 'tis a fine line between promiscuity and a healthy sex life. I hope I never cross it, one way or the other.

[seren]

I think that, as long as you're being true to yourself, and not knowingly hurting anyone else, then anything goes.  I'm not, and never have been, promiscuous.  I'm very happy with that fact because I know that it's not 'me'.  At the other end of the spectrum, I have a male friend who is forever having one night stands and flings with squillions of different women (fairly often more than one at a time!).  He's a lovely bloke, is very happy with his lifestyle and, despite the fact that we're chalk and cheese (and I'd never sleep with him!!!!) we get on brilliantly and don't judge each other.  However many, or few, people you choose to sleep with of course it's ok to enjoy sex, we're designed to.

[Morrisonker]

Seren - My best male friend is like that and it's never bothered me.  It always guarentees an interesting night out ^_^

Personally, it's not for me, I'm terribley insecureand don't have the confidence to be with lots of different men and I think over a long time it can be quite damaging to yourself esteem, especially if you're quite young.  A few of my girlfriends have had a lot of one night stands and although they aren't expecting a realtionship afterwards, some men have treated them appallingly. 

I think the bottom line is just to be safe and make sure no one thinks it means more than it does. 

[Scarlett]

There has to be a happy medium, which is usually what your own conscience will allow.My friend seems to sleep with a lot of men, and has just been diagnosed with genital warts, which is a worry not only for her, but her previous partners. Another friend of mine has been celibate all his life, simply because he hasn't met the right person!! Most people are somewhere in between.

[secretspirit]

Sorry if this offends anyone but I think promiscuity is pointless and unpleasant.

For a start it contributes to the spread of STI's; any women I know who've had 1 night stands feel guilty afterwards and it is extremely rare that it leads to a relationship because no matter what men say in mixed company they don't want to stay with a woman who's slept around (but they won't say no if it's offered on a plate).

I know many will disagree with me but I think the only type of sex worth having is with a committed partner who you know well and care about.