Is it me?

[sam100]

Bear with me on this one... Last year there was a music concert going on near where i lived so asked my friend if she wanted to go, she did, so 6 months before the event i booked the tickets (they sell out fast) and paid for them...so 2 weeks before the event i text my friend randomly to let her know the tickets arrived and she turns round and tells me she cannot make it as its a relatives birthday. ... I was annoyed because peoples birthdays are the same time every year and my friends excuse was "i never confirmed i would go"...bearing in mind i had been quite excited for a while about the event and we had talked about it. My younger sister kindly agreed to come with me and we had a nice time but i didnt speak for my friend for about about two months for various reasons. Anyway this year i asked my sister if she would like to come again with me (well in advance) and she said yes. Was about to book the tickets when my sister announced she didnt want to go because of the line-up. Two weeks later my sister sends a text to say that a friend of hers booked our tickets for us to save us the booking fee..with a bit of probing i find that my sister has since agreed to go with a group of friends (a fair bit younger than me and whom i dont know)..she said i was going with them but i felt like a spare wheel and was annoyed that she hadnt told me what the arrangements were. I dipplomatically said that i had decided not to go and that she should go with her friends. Still with me?? Anyway, My other half mentions to my friends husband (yep the friend mentioned above) that my sister let me down...not necessarily about the tickets but my sister is rather selfish. Anyway my firend has now decided to go and book tickets for her to go and i feel a bit angry. Is this me?? Am i letting people walk all over me? or am i being silly?

[China Doll]

Silly might be a bit harsh but you are possibly blowing things out of proportion a little. Firstly, as irriating as it was you friend didn't confirm attendence and perhaps she had forgotten about it until the text. You had a nice time anyway so best not to hold grudges and just bear in mind that for future events this friend may not be the best person to go with if you're booking far in advance.

As to little sister, perhaps she thougth she was doing a good thing. She didn't really want to go but her friends did and she knew how much you wanted to so she had them book you a ticket too. If it's a malicious thing she was doing it's one of the most unmalicious ways I've heard of going about it.

As to your friend now choosing to book a ticket, well I'm a bit lost there. I don't really see how that has anything to do with you. If they want to go then that's up to them I would have thought.

[showcatbenga]

This strikes me as a communication problem in the first instance. When tickets have to be booked & paid for it never harms to just re-iterate 'I am going to book & pay for those tickets to 'such & such' concert so you will be able to go then?'
Your sister did her best to avoid going to something she didn't fancy but to also facilitate your attendance. Ultimately settling for attending with both her friends & her sister - quite a compliment to you. Unfortunately, she also did not communicate this to you.
How you deal with this depends on how much you really want to go. I think you might find you have more in common with this group of friends of your sister than you might think.
I don't think you are letting people walk all over you but you have been messed about a bit. This is sometimes what happens when we try to make plans which include other people. It seems peverse that the one person who has been the most clear about wanting to go will end up not going! Perhaps you & your partner could go together?

[sam100]

Thank you for your replies!!

On the first occassion i had mentioned the event to my friend on numerous occassions leading up to the event so i cannot assume that she 'forgot' about it....and on both occassions the details and the cost of tickets etc have been known by everyone as its quite a popular event for this area.
These are both two people of a similar personality who always come to me when they are in trouble, need a shoulder to cry on, bail them out, give them a lift and even lend them money when they are in dire straights...i was the one who really wanted to go and both of them knew this and i do feel a bit miserable that i am not going. but thats life
Fortunately my other half has been a gem today and said that we will go out for the day instead and do something fun together :)...