sick cat

[toby99]

I have a beautiful Siamese cat age 13. She has had a cough for years (possibly due to a heart murmur) She is very vocal and meows all night 'chatting' to us, but tonight I have come home and she cannot meow only makes the slightest dull chirp. Her weight has dropped off her over night and she is weak and a bit wobbly on her feet. She looks ill. We have had to introduce a litter tray recently as she wouldn't go outside, but Siamese can be like that. Although, tonight, she has just 'wet' herself in her sleep when I was cuddling her. Can anyone offer any advice; I am really worried about her - thanks

[Chessie]

Oh Toby, I am so sorry. I know how devastated you are feeling, and I feel for you, I really do.

You did everything you could for her, at least you know that, and she had a lovely peaceful end, what every cat deserves.

Bless Tilly, she sounded such a lovely cat. But she hasn't gone, she's waiting for you now on Rainbow Bridge.

So very sorry
xxx

[bensmum]

Toby this is quite a normal reaction. you will keep asking yourself "What if I'd done so and so ...." and it's natural that you should feel like this. It is very easy to miss early signs of illness as they can often be put down to the cat getting older and maybe developing strangs quirks. Often by the time an illness is apparent it is too late to do anything.
Your cat obviously had a very good home and was well loved. You did the best you could for her and ensured she had a painless and peaceful end. That was the last kindness you could do for her and you were brave enough to let her go. It takes a long time but you will feel more positive about it one day.

[Chessie]

Me again. Please don't feel guilty, you weren't to know, and cats don't give us enough signs when they are ill, not until it's too late, sadly.

I have had the same feeling as you with 3 of my cats now - all the ifs and buts, but at the end of the day, you did what you could. There always comes a time when no more can be done.

Tilly had a lovely life, knew nothing but love and being spoiled, and she loved you very much. Please think of the good times and don't feel bad.

xx

[toby99]

I was so proud of her. She was so kind and gentle; she use to bring mice in, but would never kill them. She always let the other cats eat before her. All the neighbours know her; she would just walk into their houses and go to sleep in their lounges, luckily they all loved her too.

The hardest thing has been telling my daughter - she was devistated, she's only eight, but i have let her cry rather than try and preoccupy her with things. i think she will get over it quicker that way.

As for me, i suppose i have to go through the blame stage, but one thing I know is she went peacefully in the end, warm and loved, wrapped in my daughter's blanket. Life just will not be the same without her.

[daffidazey]

Toby, I have only just read this post. I was desperately willing for Tilly to get better, I'm so sorry the end result is as it is. She is in a better place now and comfortable, you were with her in the end and she will thank you for that.
My thoughts are with you. Daffi x

[toby99]

I want to thank you all for your kind support over the past couple of days. It is strange how I only joined AB a few months ago, but you were the first people I thought of when I came home today. You have all been wonderful and haven't made me feel 'silly' for feeling quite so devistated. Thank you so much it has really helped to 'talk'.

[lindapinda]

Oh Toby,i'm so sorry to read whats's happened.I'd been away for a few days,and just sat down for half an hour to catch up on things. I was really pleased that things were looking better for Tilly,and am shocked at the awful quick turn of events. There's no point in me saying anymore,cos,all the other lovely people have already said such wise and comforting words. My own "baby" has not been well at all this year,so,I understand how much misery you are now going through,and in fact so much more. My thoughts are with you,and your lovely,unique Tilly xx

[Silvercat]

Toby 99 I am so sorry for your loss, I too am sat here with a tear in my eye.

Please dont blame yourself, hindsight is a wonderful thing and we cant always have the answers at our fingertips. You loved her til the end and thats all that matters now.

Give yourself a hug and remember what was good.

[pastafreak]

Toby-one thing you can be certain of is the support of all the wonderfull people on this site. I have had first -hand experiance of so much love here. Please feel free to come on here whenever you need to talk...there will always be a friendly ear and lots of hugs xx

[toby99]

I have had a terrible night; I think it is the shock of how quickly this has happened. I am stunned and can't stop crying, but I have just read over all your kind words again this morning and I want you all to know how much they have helped.

[Pippa68]

I have seen some shocking stuff on this site ~ some of it directed at me.

However when I lost Sonny I witnessed nothing but love, concern and support. You are amongst people who feel your pain, toby. I printed off the replies I received and often look at them to help me deal with it when I am sad.

Always feel free to come here and let it all out xx

[LoftyLottie]

Just to say I am so, so sorry. Take care.

[persianlady]

Toby99........ You are suffering from very real grief. We on this site understand that. Most of us have gone through what you are now experiencing. You are feeling guilty, and wondering why you did not pick up on the signs sooner. But the awful thing with kidney disease is that it is usually too late to do anything by the time the symptoms begin to show. You mentioned that Tilly had been weeing in inappropriate places for a while, and you are sorry that you did not get her to the vet about this. But, cats do that for all sorts of reasons other than kidney disease. Stress for example. And dont forget that just the day before the vet did not think that she had anything wrong with her kidneys. This is not a reflection on the vet,or yourself. It just shows what a sneaky, silent killer this disease is. It is a very, very common cause of death in cats of all ages. i would go as far as to say it probably the most common. I belong to quite a few cat forums, and it happens frequently.
Take comfort from the fact that although this was going on for quite some time, it is painless until the very end. But when the kidneys stop working, toxins begin to build up because they are not being flushed out by the kidneys. Tilly was not in pain, she just did not feel well. Take comfort also from the fact that although it was so shockingly quick for you, it was best for her.
Finally..... You must grieve for her but concentrate on the quality of her life, and not the length. It would not hurt you any less had she been twice her age. She had a wonderful life, full of love, and she could not have had a more caring family. Thank God that you had her and she had you for as long as it lasted.

[ruthann58]

toby dont blame yourself just be thankful that she wasnt ill for long and that her end was peaceful and loving i know when we had to say good bye to our old black lab who had the same trouble how heartbreaking it was he laid on the vets table and wagged his tail twice as if saying thanks than just went to sleep cant see the keyboard very well now ruthxxx

[jules77]

I am so so sorry, it is so hard to lose an old friend. At least she didnt suffer and you were with her at the end.

You will never forget her, and she wont forget you either, The pain you feel now will ease in time, and you will have many fond memories of your little girl. take care x.

[Kleiber]

Toby, love, I'm so sorry to hear about Tilly. What more can I say? I love my cats too and will be devastated when their time comes (I have 2 ten-year-olds who I adore, and 3 younger monsters! They're lovely, too), but we all know when we take on an animal, that it's not going to live as long as we do and we have to do our best for them, as you've done for Tilly. I can tell by your post how much you loved her (and still do) and she obviously adored you too. Cats never leave us - Tilly will always be with you in spirit. May your god bless you. Love, K xxx

[toby99]

What I can never forgive myself for is that I 'knew' she was starting with renal failure because of the heart murmur, but they were just words and I thought that renal failure was going to just be a slow deterioration with old age. Her blood tests were all clear at the time.

I knew she was drinking more recently, but that to me was a good sign as she also weed more too - so to me her body was functioning ok. and she was drinking healthily to prevent the illness.

She appeared so happy though. She had a spell of her litter tray smelling not long ago, but we had changed her food and it stopped when we changed it back again.

Her weeing in the house was just because she didn't like going outdoors, but I now know that the other things were all the signs. I never knew it could do this so quickly. To be honest, I didn't know anything or what it could do, as I suppose to me it was so far off in the future that I didn't want to know until I had to.

I was expecting lots and lots of trips to the vet in the future as she aged, but one minute she was fine and next minute she was gone. I am grateful that it was so quick for her and the vet said it wouldn't have made any difference, but I cannot forgive myself for being so stupid and for not understanding this disease or what it was capable of and I never wil.

[persianlady]

Toby99..... there is nothing to forgive yourself for. If you had known, you would not have been able to prevent it. You would have started grieiving straight away. It would have meant all those trips to the vet. The stress of the journey. All the needles the poking and prodding. She , and you have been spared all that. You said yourself that she was happy until just before the end. She was not aware of what was going on. Had you known, she would have picked up on your feelings. A lot of my cats have been very sensitive to my moods.When I have been stressed or upset they have always been more affectionate and clingy, as if they were trying to comfort me.

[Kleiber]

toby - don't feel guilty. You loved her (and still do, no doubt) and did everything you could for her. When an elderly cat goes into renal failure, there's no cure, so you couldn't have done any more than you did. You gave her love, medical attention and were with her till the end - how many humans get that sort of care? I would (and have, in the past) done exactly the same for my animals - I even sat up all night with a sick lamb, a couple of years ago. he died, sadly, but at least he was comfy and warm and had a kind hand on him at the end. Don't punish yourself, just rest assured in the fact that she went peacefully and surrounded by love. K xxx