Film, Media & TV10 mins ago
Christmas jokes.....
15 Answers
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Clause!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes! Hee Hee! Anyone got any more!
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Clause!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes! Hee Hee! Anyone got any more!
Answers
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Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel!
What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santa on his birthday?
"Freeze a jolly good fellow!"
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw some money. Which one picked it up?
Santa! The other two don't exist!
What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
Santapplause!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!
Who delivers presents to dentist offices?
Santa Jaws!
Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Elephanta Claus!
What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?
Crisp Kringle!
Why does Santa have a white beard?
So he can hide at the North Pole!
What smells most in a chimney?
Santa's nose!
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus!
What does Santa like to have for breakfast?
Mistle-"toast"!
Why does Santa take presents to children around the world?
Because the presents won't take themselves!
What does Santa use when he goes fishing?
His north pole!
What is twenty feet tall, has sharp teeth and goes Ho Ho Ho?
Tyranno-santa Rex!
What's red & white and red & white and red & white?
Santa rolling down a hill!
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
Looks like "rain", "Dear"!
What's red and green and flies?
An airsick Santa Claus!
Because it soots him!
Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel!
What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santa on his birthday?
"Freeze a jolly good fellow!"
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw some money. Which one picked it up?
Santa! The other two don't exist!
What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
Santapplause!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!
Who delivers presents to dentist offices?
Santa Jaws!
Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Elephanta Claus!
What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?
Crisp Kringle!
Why does Santa have a white beard?
So he can hide at the North Pole!
What smells most in a chimney?
Santa's nose!
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus!
What does Santa like to have for breakfast?
Mistle-"toast"!
Why does Santa take presents to children around the world?
Because the presents won't take themselves!
What does Santa use when he goes fishing?
His north pole!
What is twenty feet tall, has sharp teeth and goes Ho Ho Ho?
Tyranno-santa Rex!
What's red & white and red & white and red & white?
Santa rolling down a hill!
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
Looks like "rain", "Dear"!
What's red and green and flies?
An airsick Santa Claus!
How does Santa take pictures?
With his North "Pole"-aroid!
What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh! Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A "Holly" Davidson!
Where does Father Christmas go to vote?
The North Poll!
What's red and white and falls down the chimney?
Santa Klutz!
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish!
Why does Santa owe everything to the elves?
Because he is an elf-made man!
What goes oh, oh, oh?
Santa Claus walking backwards!
How many chimneys does Saint Nick go down?
Stacks!
What does Santa get if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobic!
What would you call Father Christmas if he became a detective?
Santa Clues!
Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
Why, Santa Paws of course!
What do elves learn in school
The elf-abet!
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No L (Noel)!
What Christmas Carol is a favourite of parents?
Silent Night!
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
He had low elf esteem!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claus-trophobic!
What do secret agents eat at Christmas
Mince spies!
Hehe sorry. Kind of got carried away there!
I made a Santa chatbot at http://www.theamazingsanta.com and those were some of the jokes I loaded into it.
I made a Santa chatbot at http://www.theamazingsanta.com and those were some of the jokes I loaded into it.
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