Please Help What Should I Say Or Do.

[Jm08]

I was with my ex 6 years. In those years he dumped me 3 times. First he texted my parents and told them he couldn’t deal with me. Second time he had gotten back together with me but had met this girl while we weren’t together and wanted to give her a chance and this February he said I was horrible. That I didn’t cook enough, have enough *** with him, didn’t clean enough for him, have enough money, that I didn’t cook him a cake for his birthday, etc. I guess I was always just a horrible gf so he went to my parents house to ask them to get me because “I wouldn’t leave on my own.”

This was this year in February and then some weeks later he started texting me and I wanted to believe he wanted to be with me and started trying to pressure in a way to see if we were gonna get back together but he kept saying no.

One day he said he was gonna go out with some girls because he was single and that that’s what single people do so I did my crying and I just stopped texting him and hoping.

But then out of nowhere he started texting me again. Saying he loved me and missed me but he literally only said that then invited me over to have *** then would just tell me he liked the way his life was without me. I’ve asked him and begged him to please block me because I don’t have the strength to do it myself since I have actual feelings for me. But he said no. So he won’t block me he won’t be with me. He texts me, and he lets me see him but only to have ***.

This Saturday he told me I could go see him if I wanted but I feel depressed every time I leave because I feel used, I feel dumb, I feel like I’m hurting myself and idk what to tell him to stop feeling this way. And I can’t just ask him because I have and when I do he asks me why am I dramatic why do I need labels, etc. idk how to feel or what to do, how to ask him in a way he doesn’t say I’m drama or etc. please help me. Please give me some advice. Thank you!

[maggiebee]

He dumped you 3 times? Why on earth do you even give him the time of day?

[Atheist]

He's useless and you should give yourself more respect and not go along with his vile behaviour.
Easier said than done.
You deserve better than him.

[Rosetta]

Tell him to get lost and stick to your resolve not to let him manipulate you on future

[Hazlinny]

From what you say, things will never change. Move on and don't be afraid to do so.

[jourdain2]

My advice is very clear. He is using you, he is a controller, you do not want to be anywhere near him. Get rid while you can.
It is classic abuser behaviour pattern. It will get worse, I promise. (Been there, if it helps, and I still feel stupid that I didn't see it at the time.)
I am being very serious here. Take care of yourself. :)

[jourdain2]

^^^ In other words - just tell him that you never want to see/hear from him again - and mean it, for your own sake.

[lankeela]

Keep going back and letting him use you. Then when he ends up beating you up you might realise that he really doesn't love you at all but no doubt you will still stay with him. Its what victims do.

[Peter Pedant]

I was with my ex 6 years. In those years he dumped me 3 times.

dump him
or keep him dumped

[youngmafbog]

Smurf, often people at the end of their tether with no one they can trust to talk to will be very verbose.

As a man(and father of three girls), assuming what you have written is true as we have only one side of the story here, I would strongly suggest you are being used.

Move on and dont look back, ignore all texts/whsatapps/Facebook etc. Get your life back and find a nice new fella who appreciates you for what you are.

[rowanwitch]

Block him, and any friends who take his side. Poisonous controllers never change... But you can, you can change to being a strong, intelligents woman who knows her own worth, and understands alone for a while is better than being with a complete manbrat. Take time to (re)build your friendships, get some counselling if you are struggling as you may need help breaking the cycle he has tried to impose on you. If he comes crawling round stand tall and tell him to get lost. If he refuses to go call the police if you have to. If he keeps phoning block him or change your number. Good luck, might be hard for a few weeks, you will get flashes of doubt but stick with it because it's so much better when you come through to the other side.