How Much Should I Offer?

[ladybirder]

A neighbour offered to cover two dining chairs for me with material which I had bought. He had to remove two layers first and it took him about 40 mins in total. He’s saying he doesn’t want a payment but I insist. I’m thinking around £30. What do you think?

[davebro]

a tenner

[Ken4155]

If he doesn't want payment in the first place, i doubt he'll accept £30. Give him a tenner, he's more likely to accept that.

[davebro]

or a bottle of wine?

[Ken4155]

Ladybird, my guess is if he wanted paying for the work, he would have priced the job up in the first place. Sometimes, just sometimes, when folk say they don't want payment, they actually mean they don't want payment :-))

[barnaclebill58]

a 5 litre keg of beer/lager -cost about £20 -better than cans/bottles

[straydog]

Are you able to do something for him in return rather than a monetary thing? I don’t know your individual circumstances so can’t really advise but if he lives alone could you say, make him a casserole and give it to him with a bottle of wine? It’s difficult but sometimes an act of kindness can mean more than money.

[ladybirder]

Thanks guys. £10 seems mean to me. The material is heavily patterned & he’s matched them to perfection. Booze is a big No Dave.
Perhaps £20 then?

[straydog]

Yes a tenner seems mean to me too ladybirder. If you had to have them professionally done they would have set you back a lot more than that. If you’re comfortable with £20 go for it.

[Ken4155]

The bottom hinge on my back gate had rusted and broken off, meaning that the gate scraped the floor when opening. My next door neighbour makes and hangs back gates and i asked if he had a bracket he could sell me. He put me a new newel post in, rehung the gate and steadfastly refused any sort of payment. A week later, he made and hung a new gate at the front of his house. While he was out at work, i gave his gate a coat of grey undercoat, followed by a coat of black gloss. Then i stuck a note through his letterbox saying, "Thanks for the job on the back gate."

[Bobbisox1]

I’d go with your original @£15 a chair is very good

[mallyh]

does he smoke ...a couple of packets of cigs or cigars

[Ken4155]

I honestly believe that if he's done the recovering as a favour, the more you offer him, the more you insult him.

[ladybirder]

Sorry I’m on my mobile so very slow. Good idea about food stray but he’s a fabulous cook and I’m not. Can’t even get the dog to eat mine;-)
To pay or not to pay, that is the question hmmm.

[calmck]

Does he have a hobby?

[AuntPollyGrey]

Ho offered to do something for you and does not want payment, but you 'insist'? Maybe he enjoyed doing it and would feel uncomfortable offering to do anything else for you if you give him money. Thank him and say you would like to return the favour in some way. He might enjoy a plant for the garden for instance or do you have a skill , like knitting, and you could make him something?
I did a portrait painting of a horse for a friend. She was over the moon and offered to pay but I said no -she reciprocated by making me a cross-stitch sampler which means more to me that the money to be honest.

[bhg481]

I'm with Ken - if I do something for a friend or neighbour it's because "that's what friends do" and I've no interest in any reward.

[ladybirder]

Calm there’s nothing this guy can’t do, literally, and he does everything beautifully. But you have all given me an idea. I will get some really nice dog treats for his two dogs. That shouldn’t offend him in fact I think he would like that.
And yes it would have cost a lot more than £30 to have had them done professionally.
Thanks everyone. X

[bhg481]

ladybirder - good idea.

[Canary42]

I agree with Ken and bhg - by all means make a similar gesture of friendship when the occasion arises but otherwise you taint it with "crass commercialism" (not quite the right phrase, but I'm sure you know what I mean) IMHO.

P.S. Just read the dog idea - yes, an ideal gesture, well thought out.

[jennyjoan]

I know you have made up your mind - I too would give him £30 - £15 a chair. I'm sure he will take it and get something nice for himself.