Why Am I So Vexed

[jennyjoan]

Another brother has died last night and I am so so sad. He has gone to be with his twin. I have lost 3 brothers within 5 years - they all had issues but were all problematic but entertaining. I seem tonight to be thinking of past-times when we were all together ie mum and dad and because my memory is too detailed I can remember pretty much details of our time together - the name calling, the play fights and the not too playful fights but very sad indeed. What is this point of living when in the end you die. Sorry for being morbid. x

[jno]

I don't blame you for being morbid, losing siblings like that. But the point of living is what you do before you die, so make the most of it.

[jennyjoan]

I haven't done too much Jno for anybody to remember me by anyhow.

[Smowball]

JJ losing anybody is sad but to lose three brothers in 5 Years is very sad so you're entitled to feel the way you do. As for what's the point, well you just make what you can of life and live it to the best of your ability,

[jennyjoan]

you know I haven't even told my friends yet

[Peter Pedant]

I am so sorry to hear this JJ

[jennyjoan]

thanks pp and smow

[TonyV]

Just I'm still getting over my mum last month. Not morbid at all xxx

[jennyjoan]

I feel inadequate with all this as I am not too well myself. Under normal circumstances I am the big fuss pot and doing this and that but not now.

[Mamyalynne]

Sorry to hear your sad news JJ, it must feel like all your past is being peeled away bit by bit.

I can't answer what the purpose of life is for anyone else just for myself - we all make the best of it we can.

You're allowed to be sad, share with friends when you feel ready and we are here to listen.♥

[jennyjoan]

I want to cry so much but him dying was the best thing as he had no quality of life in the end so would it be crying in vain.

[TonyV]

Jj what do you think you need help with? Xxx

[Mamyalynne]

If he'd lost all quality then he's out of pain, don't feel inadequate - let others do the bustling about, especially if you feel unwell.

[jennyjoan]

thanks Mamy - those are the words - my past is being peeled away - that's all the brothers now - just me and sista left. I could have been away myself in Feb with that accident and I sorta think what would sista be like on her own now. Don't know what the future brings now. x

[Mamyalynne]

None of us do, that's the truth.

[Peter Pedant]

none of us know what the future will bring so we shold face it with hope and determination

this is a difficult time for you JJ

[TonyV]

Jj lots of people here that maybe can give you support and advice if you need it xx

[jennyjoan]

the one dream I would have is not to be a burden - you know in a home - or in terrible pain.

when that accident happened in Feb my life flashed before me albeit short but remember the beautiful feeling of warmth that flooded my body and I truly thought I was dying and I was ready to go - but no, the devil didn't want me nor God lol

[Smowball]

Tony am very sorry to hear about your mum x
JJ there is always someone here to talk to, always x

[jennyjoan]

thanks Tony - this is the first I have spoken of it tonight - I could have emailed lots of friends - I even done my and neighbour's garden this evening and I couldn't tell her - her husband is a friend of my bro. Slowly but surely I will come to terms within the next few days.

[TonyV]

Lol jj you're just going to live for a good while longer xx