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Utility Help Lines Hold Music

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andy-hughes | 22:22 Fri 04th Aug 2023 | ChatterBank
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I love music a lot more than most people, and I can absolutely tolerate music that does not appeal to be personally.

But today, after holding on at the British Gas 'Customer Service' (hahahahahah!!!!) phone line, even I was driven absolutely to distraction by that jangling indie Muzak they played at me, interspersed with the honeyed tones of Ms Voiceover 1977 telling me all about their deals, and how much easier their 'chat line for enquries is ...'.

I am now absolutely convinced that any kind of 'hold' music is created with the sole purpose of driving the customer to delirium, whereupon they simply give up and hang up.

It's either the meaningless pseudo-jazz guff that has literally no melody to it whatsoever, and is just a random series of notes that appear to connect, but the more you hear them on a loop, the more apparent it is that they don't at all, or it's this indie-guitar torture I was given today.

Does anyone else think that a simple beep every thirty seconds would be sufficient to confirm that the call is still open, and that 'hold music' should be confined to the London Dungeon, with the rest of the torture instruments?
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I think music is just to reassure you that they're still on the line. If I don't get music I assume either the connection has failed or they've hung up on me and I have to start over again. A beep could come from anywhere, my phone issues them all the time.
Typical. London gets everything, again.
I've said that for some time now that they play terrible music, and it's usually loud, so you give up and put the phone down.
I phoned a company last week, (can't remember which one, ) and although it was horrible, it was playing really quietly and that wasn't too bad.
Quite often I turn the volume right down and then put the phone in a drawer.
I doubt that you'll find many people here who're going to disagree with you on this one, Andy :-)

Back in the days when I was unemployed, and the DWP had managed to muck up my JSA calculations, I spent a total of nearly 20 hours (spread across 3 days) trying to get hold of someone on their phone line. I had to endure the same tiny snatch of tinny music going round and round again for all that time. Even Mozart, who wrote it, would have been peed off with it by then!

Christmas music in shops has much the same effect on me. There are thousands of quality albums of Christmas music that have been produced but (despite it costing them not a penny more for their PRS licence to use some of those albums) shops only seem to use the lowest quality Christmas music ever recorded!
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douglas - // Typical. London gets everything, again. //

Are you on the right thread?
Christ man, you wrote the intro.
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douglas - // Christ man, you wrote the intro. //

OK, I get it on re-reading what I said.

No need to be offensive about it.
No probs, guess you got the old Clio earlier.
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douglas - // No probs, guess you got the old Clio earlier. //

You've lost me again ...
That's okay.
Totally baffled here
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Hopkirk - // Totally baffled here //

Me too.

Douglas likes to be enigmatic - let's leave him to it.
British Gas must be one of the top companies NOT to phone. Never managed to get an answer yet.
You kinda started it about noon today with your mucky chat about swinging, obviously been a heavy afternoon.
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douglas - // You kinda started it about noon today with your mucky chat about swinging, obviously been a heavy afternoon. //

I remember - the one where you told me you were 'happily married', but referred to me as 'dear', and signed off with an 'x'.

I'm at the end of this off-thread cul-de-sac now, good night.
Goodnight andy.
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ladybirder - // British Gas must be one of the top companies NOT to phone. Never managed to get an answer yet. //

In my experience, it's when they answer that the problems really start!!

Trying to get a pre-payment meter replaced for a flat a relative has bought -

An engineer came last week and said it was 'three-phase' and he wasn't qualified to work on it.

Two hours on the 'chat bot' and a seriously wound-up Mrs Hughes produced another engineer this morning, who advised that he thought the board the meter was mounted on was 'asbestos' and he wouldn't touch it.

They stopped using asbestos in buildings more than thirty years ago - the apartment building is twelve years old!

Another hour provided a third appointment this afternoon, whereby another engineer appeared, and confirmed that it was 'three-phase' and he was not qualified to work on it - they only have two qualified engineers for this area, one is off sick, and one is on holiday.

If you hear of a man electrocuting himself by tearing a meter off a wall with his bare hands, you'll know the background!!!!!
Aye, but that won't happen so, don't have nightmares.
douglas - // No probs, guess you got the old Clio earlier. //
You've lost me again ...

there is an epidemic of " foo-den, foo wot he on about?" I thought it was only me. I thought it was only said about me.

Residential homes are usually served by a single-phase power supply, while commercial and industrial facilities usually use a three-phase supply.

single phase is A.C. - and goes whoop-zoop-whoop-zoop
and three phase is two more but off-set. ( by 120' I think)
and the neutral blue pin, they've cancelled out and add up to zero so nothing goes down the blue pin. Makes sense to me

Three phase is pretty rare in domestic supply ( used for electron microscopes etc) and none of my friends can remember which sort of white good required them.

Adjacent houses are a different phase so if they 'share electrcity' during say a barbecue by joining wires , the substation explodes.

You expect me to know this sort of thing. This post wont last long. Sic transit ....

A neighbour was cut off so they abstracted electricity from next door. And his electricity went woo-woo and the call-out electricity man went pale when he saw it. Funny old world - abstracter had been married to a policeman

Now you know more about 3-phase electricity than you ever wanted
I was on hold with Tesco Bank yesterday and quite enjoyed their music choices - Ode to Joy and Vienna Waltz interspersed with jaunty Barnacle Bill type tunes.

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