Phew That Was Close!

[Barmaid]

Mr BM and I just went outside to discuss what further work we needed doing on the garden. At the far end he thought he saw a fox so we both went over. As we were standing there we heard what sounded like a gun shot and both moved away from where we were standing. Just after we moved away a tree fell down and landed right where we had been only second earlier! No idea why, it just fell! It was quite a sizeable tree - it seems as if the trunk has split. It would have been very nasty had we not moved. We are both quite shocked!!

Any near misses you have had?

[10ClarionSt]

Only on the golf course. On a couple of occasions a ball has skimmed my head, one of them actually fliked the top of my ear. Another half an inch the wrong way and I would probably have had the best lie ever - permanently!

[Mamyalynne]

Scary moment there BM.

[10ClarionSt]

^^^ flicked^^^ Ooops!

[Ellipsis]

Also on the golf course ... a huge tree branch that I'd just walked under fell off and landed just behind me. I heard Crack-Boom - crack as it departed the tree and boom as it hit the ground a fraction of a second later. I would not have stood a chance.

[andy-hughes]

I was driving to Glastonbury a few years ago, tootling down the motorway as you do.

Suddenly without warning, a car swung from the outside lane into the middle lane where I was, and braked really hard.

Evasive action was the only thing to avoid hitting him, so I swung over into the left lane - didn;t have time to look - and fortunately there was nothing there.

I pulled off at the next services and sat there shaking and saying 'Oh God ... Oh God ...' again and again - delayed shock.

I have been driving for nearly fifty years and that's the closest I have ever come to a fatal accident.

[Atheist]

I'm impressed that none of you think it must have been the work of God or an angel!

[eve1974]

Wow! That is close barmaid.

[jno]

well, andy certainly had a word with Him, Atheist...

[Dagman]

When I was a teenager I was out walking my dog in woodland, something whizzed rapidly past my ear then I heard a distant bang. After walking on further there was a group of lads with a rifle shooting at a piece of corrugated iron. It wasn't an air rifle but a proper firearm. Could've been a bad day that!

[237SJ]

Years ago I was standing in the doorway of an A320 aircraft which had steps attached. When the operative took the steps away, he neglected to raise the side handles of the steps which caused the door of the aircraft to be ripped off, along with a chunk of fuselage and a couple of door stuts which missed my eyes by about 4 inches. Needless to say, he got the sack.

[Buenchico]

I invigilated an A-level maths exam, sitting in the same place for three hours. At the end of the exam, I rose from my seat, said "Stop writing, please" and took a few paces forward. That's when the ceiling caved in, immediately above where I'd been sitting for the past three hours!

[piggynose]

My dad used to say years ago how he avoided a child by swerving. Wait for it. He fell out of bed. Lol.

[MartinMillar]

I had a shocking scare earlier! I thought I had run out of gin

[Peter Pedant]

Edward I got up from a chess gamejust before a ceiling boss flattened the board and his chair. Hammer of the Scots etc. He thought it was a sign from God that he would be a powerful king

Edward II - wasnt so lucky, the red hot bazooka got him right in the arrass

[jno]

that always sounded like a myth to me, PP (Ed II, I mean). There aren't any photos.

[Peter Pedant]

I was hareing darn the motorway - there isnt one to Glastonbury by the way - and double took - as there was a van and a car stopped in the fast lane exchanging number and addresses !

so i did a swift leftie - er rightie - and thought
you havent filled out an insurance form this year .....

I hadnt - moved house and the new owner was ripping up all my mail......

[Peter Pedant]

it in the play !

do not go for it thou meanst to kill me you will come again....
that one

[New Judge]

In the early 1980s, when the IRA were busy “encouraging” the UK government to accede to their demands, I would commute daily into London’s Victoria station. One particular morning I missed my train (Mrs NJ and I were having a “lie in”). The IRA had thoughtfully planted a bomb in a litter bin at the end of the platform my train usually arrived at. It exploded as the passengers were disembarking from the train I would usually be on. Three people were killed and a dozen or so injured. One of those injured (thankfully not too seriously) was my neighbour with whom I usually walked to my local station and travelled on the train.

[DTCwordfan]

yes, my old man and I had just finished our stint on our Earls Court Boat Show where we had a stand (Jan 1974). We went for a walk around, late afternoon, and visited the luxury Riva motorboat stand on the ground floor - and then left for the hotel, the Churchill. Got back to find a bomb had gone off in the intervening 30 minutes, the Riva boat blown apart.

They asked for folk who had been on the stand in the 3 hours before so the old man stuck his hand up and we were shown various pics of potential candidates, nothing recognised though....

[THECORBYLOON]

"I was hareing darn the motorway - there isnt one to Glastonbury by the way"

As you don't know ANDY's starting point, how do you know for certain there was no motorway involved in any part of his journey?