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Happy Burns Day To My Fellow Scots
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Happy Burns' Day to you and all of the clan up there and down here.
A Scotsman is up in court on a tricky litigation case with a Welshman and his barrister warned him that the judge is very strict and correct. “He won’t stand for any nonsense and he knows all the tricks!”
“Well, what with Burns night approaching, would it help if I sent him a brace of grouse, a haggis and a bottle of whisky?”
“Absolutely not!” says the solicitor. “He’s as straight as a die and completely incorruptible!”
Come the day of the trial, the man wins his case easily, and afterwards says to his solicitor, “I knew that whisky and grouse would do the trick!”
The legal-beagle is horrified. “Surely you didn’t send them, after everything I said!”
“Oh, I did. But I sent them in the Welshman’s name.”
A Scotsman is up in court on a tricky litigation case with a Welshman and his barrister warned him that the judge is very strict and correct. “He won’t stand for any nonsense and he knows all the tricks!”
“Well, what with Burns night approaching, would it help if I sent him a brace of grouse, a haggis and a bottle of whisky?”
“Absolutely not!” says the solicitor. “He’s as straight as a die and completely incorruptible!”
Come the day of the trial, the man wins his case easily, and afterwards says to his solicitor, “I knew that whisky and grouse would do the trick!”
The legal-beagle is horrified. “Surely you didn’t send them, after everything I said!”
“Oh, I did. But I sent them in the Welshman’s name.”
"But pleasures are like poppies spread,
You seize the flow'r, its bloom is shed;
Or like the snow falls in the river,
A moment white—then melts forever;
Or like the borealis race,
That flit ere you can point their place;
Or like the rainbow's lovely form
Evanishing amid the storm.
Nae man can tether time or tide:
The hour approaches Tam maun ride,—
That hour, o' night's black arch the key-stane
That dreary hour he mounts his beast in;
And sic a night he taks the road in,
As ne'er poor sinner was abroad in."
That was my verse to recite all those years ago in Grammar School.
You seize the flow'r, its bloom is shed;
Or like the snow falls in the river,
A moment white—then melts forever;
Or like the borealis race,
That flit ere you can point their place;
Or like the rainbow's lovely form
Evanishing amid the storm.
Nae man can tether time or tide:
The hour approaches Tam maun ride,—
That hour, o' night's black arch the key-stane
That dreary hour he mounts his beast in;
And sic a night he taks the road in,
As ne'er poor sinner was abroad in."
That was my verse to recite all those years ago in Grammar School.
The Star o' Rabbie Burns
There is a star whose beaming ray
Is shed on ev'ry clime.
It shines by night, it shines by day
And ne'er grows dim wi' time.
It rose upon the banks of Ayr,
It shone on Doon's clear stream -
A hundred years are gane and mair,
Yet brighter grows its beam.
Chorus
Let kings and courtiers rise and fa',
This world has mony turns
But brightly beams aboon them a'
The star o' Rabbie Burns.
There is a star whose beaming ray
Is shed on ev'ry clime.
It shines by night, it shines by day
And ne'er grows dim wi' time.
It rose upon the banks of Ayr,
It shone on Doon's clear stream -
A hundred years are gane and mair,
Yet brighter grows its beam.
Chorus
Let kings and courtiers rise and fa',
This world has mony turns
But brightly beams aboon them a'
The star o' Rabbie Burns.
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