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James Bond Films

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marval | 20:20 Thu 18th Jul 2019 | Jokes
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I got my friend the Connery and Dalton James Bond films for her birthday, but she wasn’t happy. I think she was expecting Moore.

I bought a tennis racket today. It’s a C.D. of the Williams sisters grunting.

My cat has been scratching in the living room all day. I wish I had never taught it to DJ.

I was doing important work on the computer and it shuts down by itself to do some automatic updates. I hit the keyboard a bit and the bottom left key fell off. I lost ctrl

I asked my mate to tell me an alternative name for an Eskimo. Ian knew it.

I have just bought a forklift truck at an auction; it is amazing what you can pick up nowadays.

I said to a mate of mine, “Did you know that continental quilts keep you far warmer than conventional bedding?” He said, “Duvet really?”

The police station has a giant photograph on the wall of me supposedly robbing a bank. I didn’t do it and, to make things worse, they’ve placed a huge wooden border around the picture. I have been framed.

I just lost my job as a doctor. This incredibly attractive girl had come in and said, “I am not feeling myself”. Apparently, “mind if I have a go then?” is not an appropriate answer.

Since buying these Robotic Sheep, I constantly have to upgrade my RAM.


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Did yew?
Tennis racket - hilarious ;-D

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