Two Veg.

[maggiebee]

We don't have any vegetable jokes on here

So if you know one, lettuce know
We need to get to the root of the matter............

[retrocop]

I showed these jokes to a Scandinavian pal of mine. He didn't find them funny. No sense of humour these Swedes!! :-(

[Bazile]

Lettuce pray

[Patsy33]

Its O kale to have a laugh isn't it Retro?

[Baldric]

What's invisible and smells like carrots?



Bunny farts!

[cupid04]

It's not rocket science...

[Patsy33]

Nor they Brussels!

[Bazile]

It will soon be time to start Plantain your vegatables

[cupid04]

Q] Why do potatoes always argue?

A] Because they can never see eye to eye!

[Baldric]

I was on the phone to a friend earlier when she asked me to hold on as her Husband had gone down the garden to pick some vegetables and hadn`t come back,
About five minutes later she came back to the phone sounding really upset i asked what was wrong?
She said "Her husband had dropped dead in the vegetable patch"
I said "Oh dear what are you going to do?"
"I suppose i will have to open a tin of mixed veg" she said.

[Patsy33]

Ooh, Baldric, that gave me the cauli- wobbles!

[retrocop]

Do you think it likely that one day Prince Edward may become a King?

[Arksided]

What did one potato say to the other.

Nothing potato's can't talk you vegetable.

[AlwaysConfused]

Stop all these puns, I just want peas on Earth

[cupid04]

Q] Why is there always conversation going on in the garden?


A] Because Jack and the beans talk!

[retrocop]

A good way to see what chance of a date you have is to look on the lady's finger first!

[Arksided]

What do you call a lettuce aboard the Titanic...

Confused.

[Patsy33]

Try not to dicress from the subject

[Baldric]

What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?



Pumpkin pi.

[Patsy33]

Hark he chokes, vegetables by the sound of it.

[retrocop]

I'm off to the Frog and lettuce.Few stiff vodka and tomato juice, followed by some Gin and Limes. Better leaf it at that in case I get kale eyed. hic